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i'm more unlucky - stephen mulhern lyrics

[spoken intro: charlotte hawkins]
in some breaking entertainment news
britain’s got more talent is actually back on our screens
for a thirteenth series
unlucky for some
especially the presenter, stephen mulhern
when questioned about its return
stephen said: ‘having to work on the show
makes me feel like the unluckiest person alive’
well, try sitting down and actually watching it
it’s unbearable

[verse 1: stephen mulhern]
so it’s in gear, that’s correct
yes way, pedro, flippin’ heck
watching peoplе dance and sing
stuck here, doin’ thе same old thing
i can’t believe i’m still in this place
i’d rather douche myself in the face
how unlucky can one guy be?
stuck for life on bgmt
[verse 2: stephen mulhern]
you could be wrongly sent to jail
but my life’s one big epic fail
seriously, they don’t pay me enough dosh
to hang out with stavros
ant and dec’s careers went boom
now they’re getting pampered in the dressing room
with all their rewards it couldn’t be sweeter
now i’m off to bootcamp, with sinitta

[chorus: stephen mulhern]
tyre’s gone flat
(i’m more unlucky)
you’re getting fat
(i’m more unlucky)
big brother’s no longer showin’
so how the h*ll did we keep on going?
your life is dire
(i’m more unlucky)
your car’s on fire
(i’m more unlucky)
i’m the most unlucky guy in history
even the titanic ain’t got nothin’ on me

[spoken interlude: stephen mulhern]
unbelievable
surely my luck will change now
[verse 3: stephen mulhern]
i don’t smile and stay the same
while all the judges complain
alesha can’t decide which top
amanda’s hair’s all over the shop
there’s too much milk in simon’s tea
and david needs a really big wee
the judges they get all the luck
and i couldn’t give a flying fu*

[spoken interlude: stephen mulhern]
forgot to ask
where did you buy that suit?
‘cuz that looks great
it really does

[verse 4: stephen mulhern]
i need good luck, what do i do?
try to find a horse and nick his show
a rabbit’s foot, four leaf clover
if all i did that and my career’s over

[chorus: stephen mulhern]
balloon just burst
(i’m more unlucky)
got voted off first
(i’m more unlucky)
anne boleyn got her head chopped off
i’d rather be her than in this job
your clothes are soakin’
(i’m more unlucky)
your bones are broken
(i’m more unlucky)
my luck’s much worse than yours
i’m on a level with the dinosaurs
left on the moon
(i’m more unlucky)
chased by a loon
(i’m more unlucky)
i guess it doesn’t pay much to be nice
‘cuz i’d rather by struck by lightning twice
[outro: stephen mulhern]
aah
that really hurt

- stephen mulhern lyrics

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