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baby - stephen lynch lyrics

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baby – stephen lynch
this is for my little girl
my lady gives birth today
i run to her room right away
she smiles with glee, and hands her to me
i look at my newborn and say

d-mn that’s an ugly baby
d-mn that’s an ugly -ss baby
i’m feeling quite concerned
my s-m-n must have turned
’cause d-mn that’s an ugly baby

i can’t believe this came from me
i think her mom did too much lsd
she’s skinny like a twig
at least her nuts are big
but the placenta is cuter than she

d-mn that’s an ugly baby
god d-mn that’s an ugly -ss baby
i can’t take her home today
she’ll scare the dog away
’cause d-mn that’s an ugly baby

and when she smiles i find
shane mcgowen comes to mind
it makes me want to cry
when i look into her good eye
i always wanted kids
is it wrong to hope for sids?
then the doctor calls me in
mr. lynch she has a twin

d-mn that’s a good-lookin’ baby
one for two on the good lookin’ babies
i almost start to weep
now this one we can keep
cause that was an ugly -ss…

d-mn that’s an ugly baby (x4)
she’s got one good tooth and one ear and one eye
and thank god just one nose, but it’s on her left thigh
now doctor i am asking you guy to guy
would a really really really late term abortion still fly?
oh no, not me!
i don’t want no ugly baby!
i said d-mn that’s an ugly -ss baby
d-mn that’s an ugly -ss baby…

- stephen lynch lyrics

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