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itch (spoken word) - steen (david steen) lyrics

i have an itch, i feel it everyday
every time i have the urge to scratch, i fell to my knees not to pray
it takes every ounce of blood in me not to let it out
to make the thoughts go away, to tell myself that ain’t the route
but it doesn’t matter how much i scream that chant
cause there ain’t no laughter, no smiles, [?] self*esteem as the size of an ant
i try to take a breath but it hurts so i panic [?]
tell myself lie after lie that i can but i can until i [?]
until i can’t take it no more
until thе bed is the prison and i’m stuck on the floor
and until my mind givеs out and my body is sore
and until my surrender myself [?]
pull my knife out, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror
knowing that i’m [alive?] now
they say the eyes are the gateways of soul but where’s mine?
what great man lies in the depths of his own [?] lose sight of what’s good?
what’s righteous? not standing up to fight his own demons
cut after cut, my mind is dead
my canvas is white, then i [paint?] it in red
i feel relief after every stroke
i stand there shattered at the tissues soak
and look at my reflection [?] of hope
i stare in silent, but begs me to stop
its screams and cries and yells for the blade to drop
i know what i do is wrong but i can’t help it
part of me likes it [?], ain’t that [?] selfish?
[that’s?] all i wanna really feel, i feel it
one that wants to stay with me
one that can count on not leaving
one that can keep my heart from not beating
[?] i love you cause i don’t love me
i tell him face to face that we are meant to be
we don’t like each other and all we do is fight
so what’s the point of staying together when all we want is to be free?
i want nothing but to feel normal
i beg for peace but that ain’t [?]
now i’m left here only being fed with words
[?] what is moral only to act out an impulsive craving
[?] less path to be paving
and at my darkest path, when all hope is lost
i’m saying, “god, am i really worth saving?”
friends tell me that i have friends, i can do better [?]
the church [?] follow your shepherd, i’ll pray
i’ll pray for the headaches to stop
i’ll pray for the feelings i forgot
i’ll pray for the peace that is gone
i’ll pray for my life to be long
i’ll pray that god will help me though my faith is [not?] as strong
i’ll pray that my will is never dead
i’ll pray that the cutting will soon end
i’ll pray and pray and pray in my head over and over again and again and again till all the lights go off
and the show’s over

- steen david steen lyrics

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