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testing - $stdout lyrics

(chorus)
t-e-s-t-i-n-g
that’s for them but not for me
i know i write perfect code
i don’t need no tdd
all the tests are so flakey, flakey, flakey, flakey
test suite is so janky, janky, janky, janky
t-e-s-t-i-n-g
find out what it means to me
i know i write perfect code
screw it, go straight to release
all the tests are so flakey, flakey, flakey, flakey
test suite is so janky, janky, janky, janky

code coverage, team wants to hit a hundred
my headless browser cannot find the f—ing b-tton
well i’ll just make the test sleep a second
do anything to keep up our percentage
mock returns, fake api calls
these tests don’t really test anything at all
so slow, i eat a snack while they run
and it does nothing, qa is still finding bugs
i don’t wanna write tests cause i’m lazy
but my code reviewer snitched and my whole team made me
i swear codeship hates me
‘cause it always fails my build with one test flakey
made a small change, like three lines
that s— broke the whole test pipeline
start digging in to see what it’s about?
f— that, highlight the file and comment it out

i’m only writing tests for my team’s satisfaction
computer overheated last time i ran em
testing methods when it should be the abstraction
testing edge cases that’ll never happen
i always forget time to test in my estimates
first, let me merge, then i’ll go back for the rest of it
sike! maybe in my next life
i’m so bored of adding tests and i got new features to write
red green, green and red, red and green
my terminal is looking like a christmas tree
please don’t tell me to tdd
i do “maybe test after code”, mtac
thought i could delegate the tests to the junior devs
‘cause i could write 4 features quicker then these specs
so right now i’ll just skip them
even though i know that later i’ll wish that i did them

- stdout lyrics

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