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mattering - stars hollow lyrics

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i’m living in the uncertainty
of fairweather memories
constantly asking if i really remember
or if it’s just from home movies

i’m absent minded, present but lifeless
and when i speak, it’s nothing of substance

so i started drinking because i thought i had something to say
it just made me drunk and want to throw up
and i’m still awkward and i don’t think that will change
i’m stuck in my ways, but that’s okay
it’s not that bad, i’m just sick of feeling like
i’m never in a solid state of mattering

you see right through me
you see right through me

i don’t want to live in fairweather memories
i want to know it’s more than home movies
and it f-cking scares me
it f-cking scares me
that i’m never in a solid state of mattering.

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