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krobus is hot - starbomb lyrics

[verse 1: arin hanson]
just inherited this place from my grandpa
looks pretty chill, livin’ simple on this little farm
stardew valley’s gonna f*ckin’ rule, so
i’ll plant some strawbs, and some bluebs
and they’ll start to grow
all of my neighbors are a buncha hotties
i’m feelin’ like i gotta focus on some more pilates
a donkey*hoagy lookin’ f*cker
just gave me a key
i use it on the sewer door, what the f*ck do i see?

[chorus: arin hanson]
beautiful krobus, wonderous krobus
never seen a thing as beautiful as you
shadowy demon, got my d*ck n’ b*lls screaming
gonna bust a nut and then i’ll
fall into a river of p*ss now

[verse 2: arin hanson]
blacked out
wake up to the show queen of sauce
grabbing feed for my little chickens like a boss
okay, money’s gone for the day
looks like my little chicken friends are going hungry, but
cracking gems in this mine’s a blast
holy sh*t a motherf*cking dragon’s flying at me fast
they eat my flesh, i scream and cry and pass out
and right before i sh*t myself, i think about
[chorus: arin hanson]
obliterating krobus, just ravaging krobus
aggressive b*tt*play while i l!ck that f*cker’s armpits
krobus is calling, as my body’s falling
i hit the ground bawling
knowing that i have a h*llsp*wn that loves me

[verse 3: arin hanson]
wake up to the queen of sauce, again
feed some soup to f*ckin’ five year*olds, again
i don’t care if you’re crying
i got a straw hat, b*tch
so keep f*cking trying
my horse is f*ckin’ immortal
i think i just saw an alien crawl through a portal
this b*tch, pierre, is making me pull out my hair
cause it seems like his shop is always f*cking closed

[verse 4: arin hanson]
passed out, woke up, queen of f*cking sauce
every single f*cking morning, queen of f*cking sauce
tomato is a vegetable? i’m losing my sh*t
what the f*ck is garlic juice?
guys, i’m losing my sh*t
my chickens are dead
all i can cook is some bread
if i live another day here i’ma blow off my head
now i get why everybody is trauma dumping
i think i’ma end it if i don’t find something to
[chorus: arin hanson]
a message from krobus
on some very short notice
he is asking if i want to be his wonderful roommate
i’m losing my sh*t, dude
wonder if he’ll think that it’s rude
to ask if he sleeps nude
not that i’m into that sort of thing
i totally said yes
my life is now the f*cking best
every day i get to see that fat platinum dumpy

[spoken word interlude: arin hanson]
dear diary, it’s been a couple days
and i’m wondering if this was the right decision
krobus is hot and all, but
he doesn’t do anything
the house? it’s a mess
and this guy can’t even bake
i think i, i think i might have made
a huge mistake
yours, arin

[chorus: arin hanson]
gonna k!ll krobus, how does one k!ll krobus?
do you think that s*xy b*tch is
susceptible to a handgun? (*gunshots*)
just k!lled krobus, gotta bury krobus
hope n0body sees me burying my s*xiest man*sl*t
someone saw me digging (*gunshots*)
the body count is rising
pretty soon this town will be a graveyard of f*ckers who can’t keep their
[verse 5: arin hanson]
mouth shut, now what
the f*ck am i supposed to do here?
new fears creeping in my mind about
sharing a jail cell with someone
who’s gonna treat me like i treated my old number 1
why the f*ck did my grandpa give me this farm
did he know that this h*ll*hole would make me do harm?
i will reprent, god please, just give me a sign
then all of a sudden
a light so divine goes

[chorus: brian wecht]
i am your grandpa
i always f*cking hated you
i gave you my farm cause
i wanted to see you suffer
now here’s the reason that i died
there’s a guy i couldn’t be inside
i gave up on life when i realized
i could never possess krobus physically
*spoken*
in my day, an intense, physical relationship
between an old man and a spirit who lives in the sewer
was frowned upon

[outro: all]
dee, wa*tah buh twee wa*tah*too!

- starbomb lyrics

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