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palpatine vs obi-wan - star wars rap battles lyrics

palpatine verse #1:
i’m for real, so you better take me serious
obi-who? you’re messing with darth sidious
you suck like a mosquito, so you better check your ego
vader k!lled you real early, barely outlived greedo
‘bout to get the best of you, electrify the rest of you
ugly old man, i need a. guinness just to look at you
i’m not hypocritical ‘cause obi-wan is pitiful
we wear the same outfit but i was the original
i wear it better, got the cheddar, and i got the brains
you think we looking similar but we are not the same
he’s a loner so his neighbors almost never know his name
and while i’m livin’ on the death star! he’s livin’ in a cave!
dirty old man with a dirty old robe
even now you be lookin’ like a dirty old pope
vader took the saber to your dirty old skull
and your dirty old corpse had a dirty old soul, good!

obi-wan – verse #1
that face…almost made me die from shock
he’s covered in craters like desolate rocks
it’s like he got popped in that mug that he got
like he sneezed looking up but won’t clean up the snot, nooooo
darth hobo, you ain’t no han solo
i’ma cut a promo on this c-cky quasimodo
hear they call ‘em sidious—his face ain’t the prettiest
he oughta change his name and start going by darth hideous
that’s no moon, just a part of a sp-ce station
sabers in the air—reppin’ jedi nation
a beast with the saber and a jedi with the metaphors
you better move along, i ain’t the rapper you’re looking for
for reals…you could really use some help
i heard he designed the death star by himself
‘cause he’s got no friends, he’s all alone on the edge
even your right hand man threw you off a ledge, woahhhhhhh

palpatine – verse #2
[now witness the power of this fully operational battle rapper]

give up, ‘cause ain’t no way you’ll beat this…
sith lord g*nius, better believe i’m the meanest
and you know that i mean this ‘cause i know every weakness
and i’m more heavily armed than even general grievous
obi-wan, you ain’t an outlaw, at all
faith in those rhymes? that’ll be your downfall
obi-what? go tie a noose with a rope
and leia should too if this dude’s her only hope
about to k!ll this vagabond, i know i got this battle won
i know it hurts your feelings see me rollin’ with your padowan
i took your little friend and then i turned him into vader
and then vader took a saber and he cut through your equator
guess it didn’t matter if the force was strong
‘cause windu’s dead and qui-gon’s gone
and padme’s heart? well, that’s the best part
we’re k!lling you all…i’m the real death star
can i get a what?!?

obi-wan – verse #2
what a pathetic round, plagueis wouldn’t be proud
after that, there’s no reason for me to influence the crowd
man, i feel bad…you’re so tired and sad
the empire doesn’t have retirement plans?
your hands are shakin’ and your bones keep breakin’
you’re takin’ medication ‘cause your joints are achin’
live to see 100? don’t know how you’ll do it
he’s gotta use the force to make a bowel movement
i’m a role model for this ugly, old oddity
i’m doing what i’m doing and i’m doing it properly
i’m everything you’re not…i’m everything that you oughtta be
you not the sith lord, you’re an obi-wannabe
palpatine got diabetes, got the sugars, bronchitis
hepat-tis, caught a virus, rotten t–th, gingivitis
arthritis, blindness and his head is super bald
but when it comes to rapping he’s not sick at all

- star wars rap battles lyrics

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