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luke skywalker vs c-3p0 - star wars rap battles lyrics

palpatine: greetings and welcome to star wars rap battles, to my right, i have c3.po’d and to the left, luke skyflocka

luke: i’m famous, see? they put my face on pajamas
celebrity, so you don’t want no drama
i’m a rebel, see? we shoot slugs like jabba
and if you talk back you go back to the jawas

programming….way wrong, obtain a new brain mod
you won’t survive a round, yo, you need an escape pod
you’re not hard, dude. really more like a cartoon
i would have gotten a better opponent out of r2
(—r2 beeps—)
tripping his breaker… blaming his maker
he programmed a punk so i’m lighting the saber
when i’m aiming with lasers, you’ll meet your creator
yo, you thought i was soft?, i’m related to vader

“no one gonna worry ‘bout upsetting a droid.”
globetrot with a robot? now, that i’ll avoid
aren’t you overjoyed? i coulda had you destroyed
could have left you unemployed like your name was jake lloyd

c-3p0: ( over here!) odds of luke winning are 0 to none
your father made me first, i’m the original son
trust your instincts, luke…and give up the rap game
‘cause you couldn’t even shoot me from a point-blank range

and if you die young, you’ll be hitting the jackpot
remember what your dad looks like with his mask off
you made out with leia, y’all felt that spark…
does tatooine come with a trailer park?

he’s the future? okie dokie, dopey obi
homie couldn’t even figure out the hokey pokey
vader went to town…taking your man down
luke put his hand in…didn’t take his hand out

i got 6 million different ways to communicate
that’s…6 million different ways to humiliate
i could talk about your sister…i could talk about your dad
or the fact…that i’ve been in more battles than you have

luke:
luke reppin tatooine, no, there’s no stoppin’ me
you father was a toaster and your mother was a slot machine
you don’t help…you only pester and meddle
your mother’s so fat they used to call her heavy metal

i’ll do you one better, i’ll leave him in bad weather
too busted and rusty for chewy to put him back together
he’ll cry like “r2, he beat me!”
wait, where are we? who’s screaming “ootiiiini?”

tatooine? where’d you get that accent?
i’m not talking guns, but i’ll get’em with ratchets
i’m the reigning rap champ and i’m about to make it clear
you’re in luck…i do serve your kind around here

all you do is stand upright with your joints tight
you can’t run…and we know you can’t fight
in fact, i’ll give you this win tonight
if you can bend over and pick up this mic…goodnight

c-3p0: your verses are garbage, i’ll smash this actor
should have let you die in that trash compactor
your raps make me nauseous, i’m ahead of this nonsense
you’re a crybaby, luke, with an oedipus complex

i’m an expert on starships and tractor beams
you’re an expert on womp rats and tractor things
in this creature-feature i’ll beat this believer
they don’t like you, luke, and i don’t like you either

sad ‘bout you’re evil dad, well, i don’t care at all
go down to tosche station and pick up a pair of b-lls
i’m not a human at all so tell me one thing, son?
is it normal to kiss your sister and then slip her some tongue?

you’re gettin’ dethroned, broken down to the bones
you bought us from the jawas, but it’s you who’s gettin’ owned
i’m a poet when i go in, leave my foot up in your colon
you’re getting burned worse than aunt beru and uncle owen

- star wars rap battles lyrics

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