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doubts - st. nam lyrics

open up
something i don’t do a lot
give me some trust
nah you’ll prolly leave
when i stir up the pot
another mental bust
is the only way
that this
rhyme scheme flopped

i know i don’t make much sense
and trust me i carry this pain
at times they want me dead
and other times
i go for their necks
no i don’t need the meds (lies)
no i’m not depressed (lies)
well
thats hard to press
i’m dealing with stress
i write music
so beautiful
but yet its a mеss

i could say that
i’m depressed
but i havе been dealing lately
at times i think i’m crazy
oh who am i kidding
id probably grab the gun
shoot at my reflection
shatter my perception
sound familiar huh
guess that i’m inspired
i’ll probably retire
when i get called a liar
now i sit in my room
and hope that
i dont have another mental drop
by the time this record drops
i’ll waste my own potential
i don’t like the pressure
let me breathe
and take a seat
while i make
lp3
speak of the matter
why do i
i carry this sadness
like a loaded gun
that’s full of
my baggage
i take these shots
but don’t know how to manage
my mental drops
these mental thoughts
i record another rec ard
but i feel like i’m lost
why do i dread these thoughts
maybe i feel like
i don’t play the part
maybe i should stop
no that’s my doubts
that’s getting to loud
go and turn up the sound
oh you like me now?
that’s crazy to me
you weren’t around
negative thoughts
i’m not playing around
i’m burying my thoughts
deep in the ground
right next to
hope and joy
you doubting me now?
i’m getting sicker
with every sound
i had an epiphany
but you’re doubting me now?
my doubts are in the clouds
you hear me now?
open up
don’t talk alot now
feeling alone, how?
talking to god, wow
playing my true sound
lost but now i’m found
journey took a while
had to face these trials
wow

i was better off dead
that’s easier than said
i got a loaded gun
pointed at my head
wouldn’t understand
that my trauma is
hard to comprehend
and the voices get louder
once i pick up the pen
you rip at my style
but i feel like it fits
you take your shots
but you don’t even hit
basically
what i’m saying
is i like the way
that i spit
take a break
then i’ll rip
these lines
i wanna quit
my rhymes aren’t even sick
wasting my time
maybe it’ll cl!ck
thinking time
will fix
my mental blocks
writing jots
emotions lost
cure to something
that i don’t got
inject my arms
demons calmed
wait what was i saying?
open up
i’ll shut them out now
doors are locked how
this mansion is too loud
threw my thoughts out
they’re in the clouds now
get the news out
i’m lost and now i’m found

look
i question this?
i manifested bliss
i pray to god
and turn
the book of leviticus
judge my character
wrote my narrative
would sit in a room
with someone
i don’t even know
writing my thoughts
like it’s her own
50 a session
tell me its a joke

my rapping is critical
these voices are pitiful
my bars are my limits oh
thoughts are my vision no
mirror my image so
trash when i lift a note
lost but i’m in it tho

huh

i question tho
box my emotional
trauma
i feel alone
but i already know
doubts are incredible
loud and miserable
carry my message
so
these demons
are weakened
chain my freedom

demons

these chains are weakend

the devil is speakin

manny where’s your freedom

it’s lost i need it

and i doubt my secrets

question my faith

but lord i need it!

- st nam lyrics

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