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what is it like to have children? - st. lenox lyrics

[verse 1]
one time my mother told me before she was born
her mother had a fever dream about her earthly arrival
a bright and brilliant moon had just descended from above
upon their house in a small korean fishing town
this story informs much of my point of view
of having children and the general experience of parenting
and middle aged hubris and naiveté aside
i’ve always wanted children someday with a
good husband in my life

[chorus]
hey, i’d like to cook for you
and clean up after you
i would do the diapers changes and the late
visits to the doctor
lullabies hummed in the dark in the
middle of the night and that
silent glooooooooow of you

[verse 2:]
my husband’s brother has some children of his own
two strong willed teenagers in their adolescent years
that wobbliness and awkward unrestrained exuberance
i’d like to be a good uncle or a wise mentor to both of them
it fills me with fear and wonder at the very thought
of raising precious children of my very own
will i be the world’s number one father, like on the coffee mug
or will they still resent me for something i did many years ago
[chorus]
oh, i would comfort you and lay to rest your fears
i would punch the soccer dad who yelled at you at the pizza party
i would try to muster real unconditional love if i could
like a she bear roaring loudly in the woods
where i grew up in missouri

[verse 3]
god bless my mom and dad who did the best they could
in raising us three brothers in a strange and foreign country
though i’ve come to detest some of his convictions as of late
and we have had our arguments over kitchen tables and the tv
it sits like some baggage in the middle of my head
like centuries of violence and domesticated warfare
though i’d like you to meet him when you are a little older
in truth he is a great man though i’d never tell that to him directly

[chorus]
oh, i would nurture you and
watch you learn and grow
i would make you independent like my father made me
and i wouldn’t spoil you like those park avenue parents do
whose children won’t grow big and strong
as an evergreen tree, like you will

[verse 3]
sometimes i’m fearful of the dangers in the world
and bringing up a child in our tumultuous times
last week a stranger broke into the building at midnight
and every day the fires rage in
streets and forests west of us
i still have hope for the future all things considered
even in these strange and still tumultuous times
every day i try to be a better person than yesterday
and every day the fire still burns
deep in the heart of the temple for you
[chorus]
oh, could i cherish you and love you more than even myself?
could i be a great and might fortress never failing
and could i do better than my father did before me?
oh, i don’t know, i don’t know, i don’t know
i don’t know. i’m excited by it though!

- st lenox lyrics

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