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my encumbrance - source lyrics

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i can’t forgive this
it’s all my fault
discrepancies so upsetting
it’s the only way that i’ll allow

i can trace this
to before annunciation
i can see the embryo
it’s begging for contact

just to be heard
to be truly understood
to find some semblance
a taste of resonance

won’t you share this
misery here with me?
it’s so lonely here at the bottom
i’d do anything to be free
of this encumbrance
an innate responsibility
for my emotions
don’t want to feel guilty or
i’ll make you feel this
because i can’t express this need
take my hurting
and rеsponsibility
i know this looks exactly like neglеct but
this is just a memory
of my initial solitude
you’re alone too

do you owe me comfort?
is this all out of spite?
though it’s taxing to admit
this is my encumbrance

you are not my enemy
you’re just a reflection
the desire for vengeance
is truly f*cking juvenile…

my retaliation
is blinding me from seeing
the path away from this
persistent pattern
when what i need
is veiled and unseen
find autonomy
find autonomy or
you’ll make me feel this
because you can’t express this need
use my weakness
to manipulate me but
this is not my responsibility
you must find autonomy
i am not who wronged you
i’m alone too

my encumbrance
is also my gift
it’s taught me how to observe
how to be self aware
but only with
the willingness
to be challenged
to choose immensity

though it’s my encumbrance
it’s also my currency
to stay empowered
find humility
in infinite gratitude
i can be assured
this feeling is mine
existence confirmed
you’ll make me feel this
because you can’t express this need
use my weakness
to manipulate me but
this is not my responsibility
you must find autonomy
i am not who wronged you
i’m alone too

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