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back and forth - sophia lanuza lyrics

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i’m going back and forth
i know there’s something wrong with me
in my chemistry
this need that i’m feeding
more and more
i’m just searching for a reason

i could pretend that this is simply an exercise in attention
gotta get someone to mention they notice, moments
but i can feel the tickle of doubt in my mind
cause i can’t pull it back when i try every time

so do you know, how to cure me?
i’m stuck here with the medical bill
for a pill, i never took
but you know, that surely, oh
i can’t just live in highs and lows

yeah i keep going
back and forth
i know there’s something wrong with me
in my chemistry
this need that i’m feeding
more and more
i’m just searching for a reason for being so facetious
can’t protect myself from things inside me
so i’m drifting from the lines that guide me, blindly
cause i don’t know what i’m looking for
no i keep going, back and forth

[nixon’s sick guitar line]

it’s jarring just to witness the blatant change in position
gotta heed my better judgment and quit it
but it’s never been a choice to spiral into noise
and giving in can be so addicting, i’m living
in a state of distant joy
like a brand strain euphoria
then i’m dodging all my calls
and i’m overwhelmed and over it
til i’m getting out of bed when i think i’m free
to find that my unfounded certainty says everybody’s mad at me

somebody cure me
i’m stuck here with the medical bill
for a pill i never got
but you know that surely, oh
i can’t just live in highs and lows

but i keep going
back and forth
i know there’s something wrong with me
in my chemistry
this need that i’m feeding
more and more
i’m just searching for a reason for being so facetious
can’t protect myself from things inside me
so i’m drifting from the lines that guide me, blindly
cause i don’t know what i’m looking for
no i keep going, back and forth

you’ve been collateral
in fighting that’s unilateral
but that don’t change the damage that’s done
cause when you get to leaving
i panic and get to tweaking
and you don’t know which way you should run
i wish i had an answer
that better served as an anchor
but i can’t track my moods like the sun
so when you get to leaving
i panic and get to tweaking
so i’m telling you that you should just run

yeah i keep going
back and forth
i know there’s something wrong with me
in my chemistry
this need that i’m feeding
more and more
i’m just searching for a reason for being so facetious
can’t protect myself from what defines me
so i’m giving up on trying to guide me, finally
cause i don’t know what i’m looking for
no i’ve been going
back and forth

[nixon plays us out]

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