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distortion - solitary soldier lyrics

(verse 1 – solitary soldier)

for the ones asking questions just listen
it’s hard to think right when you’ve got distorted vision
peer pressure had me up in the sky
was the first time i smoked weed, i felt out of my mind
i walked out and saw everything as ordinary
with the p-ssing minute, everything felt scary
anxious to the outcome, a panic began to outbreak
the world seemed faded and reality seemed to look fake
foggy sky in my mind, acting casual
nothing on my plate, so i sticked with the schedule
went home to the same feeling
what is this condition which with i am dealing?
slumber awaited me, out of fear
mentally blinded, i couldn’t see clear
what’s going on ?
is it all in my head ?
with these rushed events, i’d feel better off dead
wake up the next morning to a fresh day
sudden attack to my mind, kept me trapped, i had to stay
the pace picks up, in my head and in my heart
what’s this, i thought i had a fresh start ?
couldn’t share my problems, i was scared to speak
but in this state of mind, i couldn’t reach my peak
every night was the same, filled to the brim with tears
i couldn’t take this pain, but i couldn’t face my fears
the world revolved, but for me it was slow motion
my eyes perceived reality in opposition
a flight over bought me the same
i couldn’t escape from this hazy mind frame
seeing all my family, i just felt shame and shy
looking to the ground, i felt i wouldn’t get back to the sky
trip to the hospital they just bagged my blood
never told me what it was, they left me in the mud
searching for an answer, derealization revealed
sadly, there was no cure, so my fate was sealed
“so the life that i lived, the person i was, won’t come back”
“and all because of some f-cking sc-mbag”
spiraled back into depression, the effect hit harder
the closer i tried to get, reality got farther
running away from myself, i had to find a distraction
all these broken pieces of my mind, disconnected like a chain reaction
time flew by and i tried to pick myself up
hide all the scars and just drink from the cup
with this experience there was a lot that i learned
tried my best to reconnect but it still wasn’t confirmed
to this day, i still face this conflict
but i’m surrounded by people like i’m in a muhf-ckin moshpit
i’ve got it under control like a lucid dream
i’m not the person who used to freak out and shout and scream
i’ve changed and if you can’t accept that you gotta go
now i know who not to trust, you’re either a friend or a foe

- solitary soldier lyrics

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