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in my head - solgob lyrics

sifting through these thoughts as mist settles on the lawn
taking shots of caffeine as i rise with the dawn
in my life, things have come along, but i hear a tortured song
chains on my heart holding pieces where they don’t belong
feeling estranged from everything i once craved
i want the world black and white but i’m lost in the grey
people don’t get it, i don’t get it
i got destructive ways, really wish i could quit it
as i stall for answers, relationships suffer
i mean well, but i give h-ll, lover
i look p-ssed the truth that’s in front of my face
so we feel stuck, like we running in place
i know god can heal, and i know wounds can heal
but right now, today, this pain is so real
some people look at me with admiring eyes like i’m the glue
but honestly, i get all my strength from you

often, i try to rewind back to being a kid
point is, that’s when i knew my place on the grid
things change, they rearrange and they shuffle
i build reputations but don’t let people in my bubble
i’m learning i let seeds fester, grow trees of burden
branches climb high till they’re heavy laden, roots diggin
release leaves of hatred upon the innocent ground, watch em
poison the soil, man i need to burn that sh-t down, now…
i know being honest with yourself is like half the battle
but the other half is so angry that i feel my bones rattle
distance myself to try to mitigate the collateral
need to get away, an eternal sabbatical
nah, i’m fine where i am, we always make it through, right?
that’s just the human struggle, this the existence plight
internalize and squash, feel safe in your condition
when that don’t work, i fall back on my soul position
thank god for my people, music is my only other constant
i’ve tried other things, but they only promise profit
without a creative plug, i’d be nothing less than robotic
spiral into the system till i’m just another statistic
i might go to heaven, i know i got my ticket
but i feel like the train came, and i done missed it
been trying to get close to my maker, looking for an avenue
don’t wanna only look good on paper, i want a higher truth
i don’t see god in the pews or on the podium on the high rise
i only see god when i look into my son’s blue eyes
it should feel like summer but it’s been a rainy day
my body is next to you but my mind’s so far away
you’re telling me a story but i’m halfway across the globe
sorting through memories, looking for the pieces they stole
i need you, and without you, i’d most likely be dead
give me joy, i’ll reciprocate, just keep me out of my head

- solgob lyrics

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