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hail mary - solemn judgement lyrics

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i have my fathers eyes
and my mothers grin
and i’ve carried his name as a heavy burden
for 24 years i carried the blame
but there’s no love in a name
maybe if i held on then you’d come back
you left us once, you left me twice
replaced us with a white picket fence and nuclear love
you use that cross as a crutch
a crooked dagger just to sever the ties between us

a token problem child with slit wrists and tear stained cheeks
thinking that all this time because i showed it i was weak
all i ever wanted was to be loved by you

does my absence keep you awake at night
as you think about the person i am
or have you accepted your shortcomings as a so called father
am i even worth the time to take up that sp-ce in your mind?
i knew i was a mistake, i just wish you never said it to my face
i’m so sorry that i wished that you loved me
i’m so sorry that i want you around
does this make me easier to love?
knowing that i’ve become the better person

i’ve done this all on my own
no thanks to you

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