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someone trying to sell me something - slugbug lyrics

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i cannot do anything at all
any time i try to use my feet
the horrid little man comes out to inform me
i must subscribe to use these feet

(nights and weekends. unlimited walking. $39.95)

there was once a time had an original thought
but i was not authorized to think
i tried to write it down but i had to register
my piece of paper was not mine

(thinking available in professional edition. $800 per seat.)

and everything i thought i knew
everything i thought was meaningful
every friend i ever had was someone trying to sell me something
aaaaaahhhhhhhh

problems weren’t an issue after all
every situation has occurred
was no requirement to even do anything
there was no need for new ideas

(sum of all achievements. $19.95. only through this exclusive music offer.)

monday came the monday when i died
shoddy manufacturing and
just out of warranty and
you don’t go to heaven
you don’t go to h*ll
it turns out in the end it’s just this guy

(yes, it turns out that your worth in life is directly determined by how much you paid for your socks.)

and everything i thought i knew
everything i thought was meaningful
every friend i ever had was someone trying to sell me something
aaaaaahhhhhhhh

- slugbug lyrics

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