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chop chop chop - sleaford mods lyrics

[intro]
chop, chop, chop
the demise of planet x
f*cking bummers!

[chorus]
people, places, parties
people, places, parties
you don’t wanna get me started
people, places, parties

[verse 1]
i followed her upstairs
said a few nice words to her
then dragged her into what looked to be a stockroom
situated next to the girls’ toilets
i picked her up
and placed her on top of two crates of champagne
unb*ttoned her dress
and got down to some real southampton
she said she couldn’t give up on old habits
meaning me, which i thought was sweet
but the last time i got off with her was about ten years ago
you need to get out of it more, darling

[chorus]
people, places, parties
people, places, parties
you don’t wanna get me started
people, places, parties
[verse 2]
i asked the p*rn star if he was still doing films, he said yeah
and if i was interested in raping young girls on a fortnightly basis
then i should send him a few naked photos to his email address
sadtw*t@sadtw*t.c*nt.c*ntuk
so i went into the loo, got my phone out
and took a picture of the large sh*t falling out of my hairy f*cking *rs*
i wiped my *rs*
and sprinkled the last few crumbs of stone into a roll up
i walked up to the [?], lit it up
what’s he gonna f*cking do?
f*cking beetroot head!
i walked back into the club, few kn*bs
i seen the p*rn star dancing, i walked up to him
i slammed my phone right in his face
“here’s the f*cking photograph you wanted, ya f*cking rapist!”

[chorus]
people, places, parties
people, places, parties
you don’t wanna get me started
people, places, parties

[verse 3]
she insists i go meet her family for christmas
at some cr*p twenty first in some sh*t club
so i went * it was terrible
bunch of thick b*st*rds eating cheap party food
she’s bantin’ around, flirting with everybody
jigging her kn*bbly knees to jay*z and beyonce
disgusting f*cking behavior!
i gotta drive
i make times over the f*cking limit (nee naw, nee naw!)
i’m having to buy her dad drinks * that p*ssed me off
i bumped into some piece of wood at the bar
boring me sh*tless
with news that he works as a personal trainer
his ugly f*cking mate stood there, grinning at me
if there’s one thing i regret about that night
it’s missing the opportunity at filling that c*nt’s f*cking face in
[chorus]
people, places, parties
people, places, parties
you don’t wanna get me started
people, places, parties
skip… i got him. i need you to come pick me up, alright? i got bit by a f*ckin’ diseased dog, godd*mnit!

[verse 4]
i pick her up, she’s got a kid
she sits in the front with her kid
the coppers stop us, i can’t be *rs*d with it
we pick her kiddie chair up from her ex*husband’s
he piles outside the house, screaming
scabs all over his f*cking face
i can’t be *rs*d with it
i put the kid in the back, tell it to f*cking stop crying
i put some hip hop on, the kid stops crying * weird
we drive, meet the geezer
he’s horrible, horrible and hungry
we have to go to mcdonald’s
i waste half my burger ’cause his breath f*cking stinks
he got rumbled two nights ago
so we have to drive an extra ten miles to [?]
i drop him off, do a u turn
wait five minutes and drive back
he’s lost half of it
i do another u turn
he’s doing his nut, i want to hit the c*nt
he gets out, he finds it, the kid’s screaming
eight ounces of flat crack
a f*cking lorry’s driven over it
this is f*cking unbelievable!
we drive, we stop
chop, chop, chop
a mini orgy in the back of the car, the kid’s screaming
five different pairs of hands inside the b*tch’s bra
b*tches’ brew… b*tch’s bra, why not?
[chorus]
people, places, parties
people, places, parties
you don’t wanna get me started
people, places, parties

[bridge]
the north won’t let me go
f*cking north won’t let me go, oi!
the north won’t let me go, one on!
the north won’t let me go

[chorus]
people, places, parties
people, places, parties
you don’t wanna get me started
people, places, parties
yeah!

- sleaford mods lyrics

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