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back (in the gang) tro (1996) - skinhead lyrics

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1996; it was the summer before 7th grade. it was also the summer chris ricci, a girl from school, told my friend ryan that she wanted to give him a bl*wj*b

none of us have ever gotten a bl*wj*b before. even less of us knew what a bl*wj*b felt like

earlier that year, while going through ryan’s moms stuff we found a sample of ky lubricant in one of her cosmopolitan magazines. after ryan used the ky to jerk off, he came to the conclusion that 100% that was what f*cking a girl felt like

6 years later aftеr i lost my virginity to melissa 40 minutes after my friеnd dan f*cked her. i found out that ryan’s hypothesis was incorrect

back to the summer of 1996. we were in derry, new hampshire at 7pm riding as fast as we could to chris’s house

chris was broad and had giant tits for her age. she was also the first person i ever knew who owned a 2pac t*shirt

in new england, 7pm in the late summer was close to golden hour and i remember feeling this strange feeling. the wind picked up and the air changed. there was going to be a downpour that night and it felt like the end of days. the clouds over us knew it was going down before we did and began speeding through the sky

that feeling i felt was different than anything i had experienced until then. i have felt it a few times since that day but summer of 1996 was the first

it was different than the feeling i would get when my mom would drink too much and i would have to help her up the stairs in 2nd grade. but it was close

it was also different from the feeling i got when i gave anna (a girl i had a crush on in 5th grade) earrings and she just flushed them down the toilet with her friend. but it was close

it was a feeling that made me worried and strong somehow. i felt powerful. taking care of my drunk mother, being rejected by anna and now biking to chris’s house in 1996 with ryan marked a change in my life where i lost a little more innocence each time

it sounds strange but it felt comforting like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer. the one my dad used to put on me when i was little before i would take a nap in his apartment that never kept in heat or had electricity. i felt this i think because there was nothing more to be done. the train was already moving and there was no stopping it. at that moment it was out of my control

the last time i felt this feeling was when i got a call that the kid from last night still hasn’t woken up and his girlfriend knows it was me
i wonder if ryan remembers this as well as i do? i wonder if chris remembers this as well as i do?

i wonder if they are still alive

i wonder if that kid is still alive. and his girlfriend

- skinhead lyrics

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