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a simple desultory phillipic - simon and garfunkel lyrics

i been norman mailered, maxwell taylored.
i been john oharad, mcnamarad.
i been rolling stoned and beatled till im blind.
i been ayn randed, nearly branded
communist, cause im left-handed.
thats the hand i use, well, never mind!
i been phil spectored, resurrected.
i been lou adlered, barry sadlered.
well, i paid all the dues i want to pay.
and i learned the truth from lenny bruce,
and all my wealth wont buy me health,
so i smoke a pint of tea a day.

i knew a man, his brain was so small,
he couldnt think of nothing at all.
hes not the same as you and me.
he doesnt dig poetry. hes so unhip that
when you say dylan, he thinks youre talking about dylan thomas,
whoever he was.
the man aint got no culture,
but its alright, ma,
everybody must get stoned.

i been mick jaggered, silver daggered.
andy warhol, wont you please come home?
i been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled,
been roy haleed and art garfunkeled.
i just discovered somebodys tapped my phone.

- simon and garfunkel lyrics

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