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i play with myself - silibil n' brains lyrics

[hook]
i play with myself
everywhere i go i just
play with myself
anytime, anywhere
i play with myself
every single day i just
play with myself

[verse 1: brains]
someone stop me (stop!)
they say it’s bad for your eyes, i’m half blind
play with myself, my favourite past*time
women that are fine mostly ignore me
p*rn bores me, but it helps getting rid of morning glory
i’m lonely, and this is no exaggeration
i was caught dancing naked in my mom and dads bas*m*nt
watching adult entertainment, using my imagination
polishing the bishop, til’ my hand was breaking
i think of s*x every four seconds
so in one minute i’ve had 15 erections
4, 3, 2, woops there’s another one
i’m on heat so you better tell your mother “run”
do i get s*x loads? heck no but check yo
i don’t get upset though, i just think my crotch will explode
hey presto, i’m always erect
so even when i get old, i’ll have a woody like jepetto

[chorus]
i play with myself
all the time i can’t help it
i play with myself
all the time i just
play with myself
even in public
i play with myself
uh, uh, uh
i play with myself
everywhere i go i just
play with myself
anytime, anywhere
i play with myself
every single day i just
play with myself

[verse 2: silibil]
it all started one time my mom walked in
caught me watching p*rn films
“are you flogging the dolphin?”
oops, now i got problems with the one*eyed man
at 16, i had arthritis in my right hand
sometimes it feels best just to relieve stress
cause every time i see br**sts, it looks like i got three legs
these men are rejects, who desperately need s*x
and every time i wake up, my trouser tent is erect
i play from the morning til’ the night ends
but always got time for a date with pam and five friends
“get a real girl!”
hey yo i’m hoping and wishing
now i don’t go to kfc cause i keep choking on the chicken
i play with myself so much, my hand is funky
got fired from the zoo for spanking the monkey
i feel like every girl just wants to test men
forget dogs, a hand is a mans best friend

[bridge]
i do it when i wake up (when i wake up)
alone in my bed (alone in my bed)
i do it in the bathroom (in the bathroom)
until my hand is red (until my hand is red)
and when i’m on my own (on my own)
i put my hand in my shorts (in my shorts)
and play with myself (play with myself)
like it’s my favourite sport

[verse 3: brains & silibil]
catch me on stage, touching myself like madonna
and letting my snake out of the cage
“look it’s an anaconda!”
man i never get the girl like james bond does
so i dream of milfs with bodies like jane fonda’s
i’m fond of giving little richard a beating
play with myself so much, my girlfriend thinks i’m cheating
i even get turned on watching women boxing
so sue me if it’s wrong to knock my johnnie cochran

[outro]
i play with myself
i play with myself

- silibil n brains lyrics

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