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nervosa - silent planet lyrics

look straight through me – look at the nightmare. our past is but a dream that we’re trying to escape,[01] trying to evade to erase ourselves. look through me and see the advent of our obsessions.[02] behold, your child, perfection – a rotting sh-ll of atrophy

watching: crowds like crows, we furiously flock to tragedy; observe the hurt then hasten back to our peaceful, quiet nests of blasphemy
scapegoat: rather die and know,[03] drag your failing body in tow – witnessing the wake, conflagrate the ready oil at the stake
binging: the culmination of purging what our l-sts have borne. we h–rded all the world to find we’d lost any semblance of ourselves.[04]
this dying dance

i am not my own reflection. i am not myself, i am not myself. no, i am haunted by a non-existent lover: the spectre, the ghost, the soul-starving host.[05] i am haunted by a non-existent lover

i was gifted with the vision, but cursed to be the witness.[06]

i’ll be pale to match the walls and warped to trace the beams; flushed to fit across the floor so you can step right over me. scouring this filthy slate these crooked bones they won’t break straight – cracked and splintered like our house, upended by that first summer squall

fading: so thin, you could snap me into the shape you need – gaunt enough to slide through that wedding dress. then st-tch me to a fraying matrimony embalmed inside a never-ending ceremony.[07]

i am not my own reflection. i am not myself, i am not myself. no, i am haunted by a non-existent lover: the spectre, the ghost, the soul-starving host. i am haunted by a non-existent lover

i was gifted with the vision but cursed to be the witness

invisible to me… invisible to me… invisible to me[08]

footnotes:
01 — james joyce, ulysses
02 — naomi wolf, the beauty currency
03 — genesis 2:17
04 — matthew 16:26
05 — “ana”
06 — simone de beauvoir, the second s-x
07 — anorexia is the most deadly psychiatric disorder with an estimated mortality rate of 5.86
08 — if you or a loved one is experiencing eating disorders, please get help immediately
for more information, visit: www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

- silent planet lyrics

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