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crushed cigarettes (a herculean effort for naught) - short fictions lyrics

it hurts to know how hard we tried but we failed
i won’t forget the work experience, but my dad is here [?]
[?] clean your father’s trucks, and your sister and your brother never spoke too much
your mother’s someone i would’ve loved to have met
your room, i just sat on the floor, drawing a cigarette and a cigarette at your door, a feeling i know i won’t ever forget

now my dream girl just doesn’t exist
things are still the same, but they’ve never been like this
i’m just thinking it over and over in my head until it spins
but it hurts!
i’d be amiss, don’t say i’m not proud
but everything’s changing and it’s freaking me out
i don’t think that i can do it again
i’d rather have the changes play out; you’ll always be the one i’m thinking about
i promise i will always be your friend

now my dreams are just all that exists
certainly, wasn’t asking for this
i am [?], i am glad that you exist
so please don’t remind me of any of this
i never wanted to move forward, just stay still, i’m shaking, i hate this, i’m sick of it
and it hurts!

- short fictions lyrics

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