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a letter to guinness (parody of eminem's 'stan') - shiteman lyrics

dear guinness, i wrote you but you still ain’t calling,
i just wanted you to know that i found a can with a
ball in it.
i was just on my third when i noticed it at the bottom,
there probably was a problem with the mixing machine or
something.
but sometimes i imagine things like this when i drink a
lot,
oh h-ll just the other night after my fifteenth shot,
i thought my dog mindy was my wife and boy we had a
blast,
when i turned her over side ways and f-cked her in the
-ss.
but that’s another story what i really wanted to say,
is that your thick and creamy liquid makes me feel so
queer and gay,
oh just the other night i grabbed my son georgy and i
kissed him,
oh i see it must be your floating draft system.
my beer’s gone warm i’m wondering why,
i got off the floor at all.

the morning hangover clouds my memory
and i can’t recall at all;
but even if i could it would all be sh-te,
but this bottle in my hand,
it reminds me that it’s not so bad,
it’s not so bad.
dear john, thank you for your letter but we’re very
busy,
you said you kissed your h-m- son what are you a sissy?
look we’re really flattered you enjoy are floating
draft,
but i’m sure that’s not what makes you want to take it
in the -ss.
i don’t know what to say maybe you’re an alcoholic,
it’s not are fault you enjoy to have your b-lls licked.
it’s probably from drinking too much beer and liquor of
all sorts,
or maybe it’s just your son georgy’s ‘come f-ck me’
shorts.
any way thanks for choosing our guinness beer,
and please never write again you f-cking irish queer!!!

- shiteman lyrics

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