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things i should have said - seth wisniewski lyrics

i find myself thinking ‘bout it everyday
all of the things i never got to say
i often try to think of other stuff to calm my mind
but it seems to always travel back to that time
i feel like i left you on a bad note, i let you down
people always telling me that you’d be so proud
of where i’ve gotten to in life * but where is it?
i can’t find my place, you’re gone and i can’t fix it
i want to thank you for teaching me what i know
giving me life, food, support and a home
i know that there were times when i wanted to be alonе
but i thought some places i couldn’t get to on my own
i hatе myself for not spending all my time with you
and now i realize that it’s something i needed to do
when you and mom divorced, you know that i was confused
at that time in life i thought there was nothing else i could do
the arguing and schedules but in the end it worked out
‘when you got sick mom was right there to help
the most supportive woman i know, here the whole time
she’s done magic to help us through every single thing in life
you rebuilt a friendship and i thank you both for trying
little did any of us know that you were dying
i wish we’d been closer cause now you’re gone
i can’t help but ask myself where else i’d gone wrong
if i could take back all those days
i didn’t give all my time to you
was it selfish to see you so helpless
and not give all my time to you

september 18th, the hospital room * you couldn’t talk
your internal clock, we knew that it would stop
i never thought i’d ever see my own father so weak
but you were strong cause you fought with the horrible disease
through the chemo that made you ever so sick
by that time i was finished with cancer’s tricks
at 5:10, you took your final breath
and you rose into the skies, taking your final rest
i’ll never forget the sun flooding the room
after the cloudy day, i know it had to be you
a role model for sure that much is clear
but i don’t know how it’s been five f*ckin years
and i still feel like garbage but n0body sees it
i don’t let it out but i am in these lyrics
your life was unfinished and i was congested
with all of this sh*t that was left on my chest and
over five years since i’ve heard you talk
over five years since i’ve seen you walk
less than a second since i thought of you
less than a second since i thought of you
less than a second since i’ve wanted you back
in less than a second i’d pay any cash just to have you back
you know there’s no end to
the amount of time that i’ll miss you
i just want to tell you that i’m always trying
to do my best and keep your legacy striving
i know that you’re watching me and the whole family
but i just wish that i could know if you’re happy
with what i’ve decided to do with my life
i wish i could know if you think i chose right
you are my father, and will always be
keeping me up on my own very feet
fighting for something, something it seems
i can never have back, only in my dreams
fighting for love, family, and for knowledge
fighting to succeed my ass off in college
fighting like you did when you couldn’t do it
resisting the evil and pushing right through it
supporting as many as i can when they need
loving and seeing everything equally
you were a great man i have memories forever
pictures and tapes are now the things that i treasure
telling people how i feel is hard you’ve got no clue
so here’s a start, to you dad, i’ll always love you

- seth wisniewski lyrics

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