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symptomatic - sentient anomaly lyrics

[verse 1]
i don’t think i look okay
see my face in the mirror, i look worse every day
these permanent, huge, dark circles below my eyes, like i haven’t slept in a week
they ask me are you eating properly, why you looking so weak?
and you look pale…
is everything alright?
well no, first of all, i can’t f*cking sleep at night
so you can stop telling me i look tired
i know
it’s ‘cause i’m tired of this sh*t
and it’s not just the sleep
my whole body feels like a mess
i try to be healthy, i even work out, but it’s too much stress
it’s my heart and my mind
it’s what i’m feeling inside that is changing the outside
and i can’t hide these signs…
feel like i just wanna die

you know what this is?

[chorus]
symptomatic, yeah, this sh*t is symptomatic
of the life that i’m living, it goes on systematic
everyday with this burden, joy is not even sporadic
all these thoughts in my head sound nothing but static

yeah, this sh*t is symptomatic
of the feelings i’m feeling, it becomes automatic
that i end up looking dead, everyday like a habit
and i try to act normal, but inside, i just panic

[verse 2]
what is this, my eyelid is twitching again?
just the left one, are my eyes getting red?
i thought that issue was over
what the f*ck is my problem?
can’t my body act normal?
jesus f*cking christ
not a day going by
without more hair falling out of my head
is this much normal or should i worry instead?
i mean i know some guys bald early
but please don’t take even my hair away from me
feels like my whole body is under self*aggression
must be mad that it never gets any kind of affection
i know, and i’m sorry
i’ve been way too much lonely, and way too much h*rny
i haven’t enjoyed a meal since i don’t know when
and the times that i smiled it was always pretend
and sometimes
i get with this knot in my throat and i don’t understand
like i want to burst out in tears but i know that i can’t
wanna collapse on my knees and just f*cking cry
but i never cried since i was a child, and i think i know why
it’s ‘cause i’ve learned to keep this sh*t hidden inside
so n0body knows how i’m feelin’
but my body not keeping secret

and it shows

yeah, this sh*t is symptomatic
of the feelings i’m feeling, it becomes automatic
that i end up looking dead, everyday like a habit
and i try to act normal, but inside, i just panic

[bridge]
this loneliness, has been eating me alive
this daily stress, has been showing on the outside
i feel like my mind’s going to break
i don’t like how it feels to be awake
i feel like my mind’s going to break
i don’t like how it feels to be awake!

yeah, this sh*t is symptomatic
of the feelings i’m feeling, it becomes automatic
that i end up looking dead, everyday like a habit
and i try to act normal, but inside, i just panic

- sentient anomaly lyrics

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