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heavy envy - sentient anomaly lyrics

[verse 1]
i take a train in the morning, always super packed
above the doors, the same ads on the screen, in playback
this beautiful actress, advertising the city itself
showing where she goes. for tourism, i guess
so you see her going around to this and that place
doing all sorts of things, perfect smile on her face
she is so beautiful, and looks so alive
like a child discovering things for the first time
enjoying herself in every new thing that she tries
i see her face, and it’s the opposite of mine
her life is perfect, all she does? is be happy and smile
she is loved by everyone, on that love she can thrive
how beautiful is life uh? everyday a surprise
every place a little paradise
every moment mesmerize
now i know, of course, this is just advertising
but still, in real life, i see happy people all around me
there’s guys who are always with a girl
girls who never have to feel alone in this world
people who get what they want
people who succeed and go on
reaching higher ground
while i keep sinking down
in the darkness…
unknown… forgotten…

and i try and i strive
working hard to survive
while i’m looking at all these people having a great f*cking life
shoving it into my face, like
“life’s a treasure, you have to make the most out of it”
b*tch!
i’m really f*cking trying, and not quit!
but all i see…
is people who did it
people who made it
people who got it
taking pictures smiling, having lots of fun
while my life keeps sliding, in a pool of mud

[pre*chorus]
but to be honest?
[chorus]
i’m just so angry ‘cause i’m full of envy
that they are enjoying life while i’m here empty
with a smile on their face, always looking so happy
and i try to become but they are the only ones gettin’

in truth i’m just full of envy
just full of envy…

that the ones who make it is always them and never me
having my efforts rewarded? no single such a memory
yeah i’m envious…
of their joy and luck, it just makes me so nervous

[verse 2]
time and time again
good things just happen to them
a girl on the train just started talking to him
then later they dated and now she is moving in
when looking for jobs without no linkedin
opportunity comes from a friend of a friend

they not even trying, like they don’t even care
just living their life, and sh*t comes out of nowhere
and they always keep telling me: “you just focus on yourself”
“when you least expect it, some will come to you as well”
and i’m really f*cking sick of this stupid*ass prediction
i’m studying, working, exercising, trying to grow in all direction
and it doesn’t do sh*t, it didn’t help one bit
n0body f*cking cared that i was fat and now i got fit
n0body f*cking cared that i was lazy and now i work my ass off
to reach my goals, or if i achieved them or not
became fluent in three other languages besides my own
n0body gives a sh*t, i was and remain unknown
do i even have a name? they either don’t care or they don’t even know
and still i hear more of the same sh*t advice
“dress well, be yourself, and always be kind
and you’ll see that in time
people gon’ feel your positive vibe
you’ll attract the same type
and find like*minded minds”
well guess what!
nothing ever changes, there is no solace!
so f*ck you, and your bullsh*t knowledge!

i’m tired of hearing this cr*p
i’m tired of people who don’t do wack
and still get good things all the times
and i feel like i hate them, and i hate their lives
but really? i just hate thinking so often about suicide
and i know if i let it, anger will just consume me inside

[pre*chorus]
but to be honest?

[chorus]
i’m just so angry ‘cause i’m full of envy
that they are enjoying life while i’m here empty
with a smile on their face, always looking so happy
and i try to become but they are the only ones gettin’

in truth i’m just full of envy
just full of envy…

that the ones who make it is always them and never me
having my efforts rewarded? no single such a memory
yeah i’m envious…
of their joy and luck, it just makes me so nervous

[bridge]
i wanna be happy too
not just be happy for you
i wanna succeed too
not just congratulate you
i wanna be happy too
not just be happy for you
i wanna succeed too
not just congratulate—

in truth i’m just full of envy
just full of envy…

that the ones who make it is always them and never me
having my efforts rewarded? no single such a memory
yeah i’m envious…
of their joy and luck, it just makes me so nervous

- sentient anomaly lyrics

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