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future girls - self defense family lyrics

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jill was a born outsider
didn’t dress or act like much of anyone else
i tried to sneak her into shows
but she drew too much attention to herself
she liked to speak and look loud
and met stares with a f*ck you
here i make it about me
and how i should’ve kept an eye out

jill was running in those circles
of those friends who die in shifts
clearly i should’ve spoke up
but she wouldn’t’ve listened if i did
it’s a worthless melodrama
and a performative type of guilt
for me to look back now
and pretend i could’ve helped
still she’s often in my thoughts
maybe moreso than closer friends

it’s a loss that feels familial
i couldn’t say just why that is
can’t offer much advice
if you’ve got a jill in your world
instead i’ll just go quiet
and we can all give a moment to silly girls

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