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country song - seanan mcguire lyrics

[verse 1]
gold*diggin’ is a fine tradition—
the courtship of the purse
but when you wed for greed, you find the vows still read
“for better or for worse.”
y’know we’ve had our share of stresses;
guess every marriage has its messes
right now, i’d greet them with elation;
divorce is better than mutation…

[chorus]
y’know, i didn’t do nothin’ wrong
but now i’m living in a country song
i don’t care who sings it, it was written by stephen king
the stupid zombies k!lled the truck
my husband ate the dog, and now it seems i’m stuck
i just can’t believe this started with a d*mn bee sting
[verse 2]
with no face he came from outer sp*ce—
an interstellar flu
now brenda’s fit to bust, what does this mean for us
and what are we supposed to do?
my husband’s face is rearrangin’;
that’s not the only thing that’s changin’
what sort of fellow gets rejected
goes out and gets himself infected?

[bridge]
this unexpected terror from the sky
means it’s survival of the fittest, do or die
so if you’d contrive to stay alive, come on now, grab your gun
havin’ marital fidelity doesn’t mean that i won’t run!
you can say that i’m a cheatin’ wh0re, that i haven’t got a heart
but the vows i took on the holy book read “until death do us part”!
[spoken]
“and baby…you’re dead.”

[verse 3]
it may be it isn’t right of me
to tell my husband “no.”
it’s true the vows did say “love, honor, and obey,”
but now it’s time to let that go
because our nuptial equation
was for a man, not an invasion
i have to think that there was a reason
this happened during hunting season…

[outro]
i just can’t believe this started with a d*mn bee sting
i just can’t believe this started with a d*mn bee sting!

[spoken]
“that is…awesome.”

- seanan mcguire lyrics

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