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prisoner of conscience, part i: the soldier - sean filkins lyrics

please don’t ask me who i am, as i for one just don’t understand
this life. so sacred. so fragile, yet so cold
the changes, taking place. so much deceit on smiling faces
the silent witnesses watch the innocence decay

as the pages slowly turn
the lessons that we sought we thought we’d never learn
and a life it seems. so full of broken dreams

help me to escape this living nightmare
to see just who i am, and find the light of day
help me make amends with all the ghosts of the innocent
that i betrayed along the way
i was their destiny, and i led them like a siren to the sh0r-
now i’m haunted by the ghosts of all the innocent
that i surrendered to death’s door
i wrote their history, my gun the pen, a different line each day
now i’m haunted by the ghosts of all the innocent
that i betrayed along the way

suffocating in self pity. see how the mighty fall
smoking candle, mocking shadow, it’s last dance on the wall
i know i’ll get no mercy, the verdict signed and sealed
but i am guilty, guilty now. guilty of it all

i was their destiny, and i led them like a siren to the sh0r-
now i’m haunted by the ghosts of all the innocent
that i surrendered to death’s door
i wrote their history, my gun the pen, a different line each day
now i’m haunted by the ghosts of all the innocent
that i betrayed along the way

but you never let go to the things you loved most
you knew it was wrong, tried to exercise the ghosts
tried to keep your integrity, you kept living a lie
in a place you called hope, in a place you called sanctuary

will you sit and judge me when all this falls apart?
paranoia destroys you, and comp-ssion seems a dying art

brought back from your slumbers in a mist of sudden fear
the grinning death mask black dance fades before your eyes
the ice cold sweat, the pain, the tears, the tortured aftermath
deprivation, desperation. nowhere to run, nowhere to run

there’s a time for k!lling in every war. to be k!lled or not to be
but when you’ve seen the bloodl-st, and the counting of the score
another notch, another sign, always wanting more
so many innocent. so many people
feeding their desire

please don’t ask me who i am, as i for one just cannot comprehend
this life so sacred. this life so fragile, yet so cold

to return to a hero’s welcome. swept along on a wave of euphoria
your memory. now suppressed in the blinking of an eye

you can’t lose it. you know it happened
caught in the crossfire as the prophets have their day
the lies, deceit, reality. the patrons of hypocrisy
all slap each other’s backs in time, for trusting their morality
a sardonic toast, to the victims of the funeral pyre
the costly toll of love and life. exchanged for blood and fire

- sean filkins lyrics

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