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fruity pebbles jungle - scott stutzman lyrics

[intro, spoken]
woman: uh, scott stootzman.
scott: it’s pr-nounced “tomsen”. “scott tomsen.” no it’s “stutzman”.
woman: st-okay. “stutzman”. not “stootzman”, but “stutzman”
scott: “stutzman”. “stutzman”. “stutzman”.
woman: and um, he’s our- my songwriting 2 student from, uh, spring creek. and he’s going to play a little band- uh, ukulele. and-
scott: it feels perfect. thank you.
of course it sounds good.
woman: i don’t know scott’s song t-tle, you’ll have to tell them.
scott: oh, ok. well this one, uh, this one has a little bit of a story attached. uh, one of my favorite breakfast cereals of all time is fruity pebbles. and, i realized the other day that fruity pebbles doesn’t have a slogan, or a jingle, -ssociated with it. so what i did was i just wrote a short little jingle, uh that they would probably love to use in one of their commercials. uh this song is called, fruity pebbles jingle.
(clapping)
thank you, i love america too.
(ukulele starts)
(hits microphone) sorry.

[verse 1]
oh kellogg’s fruity pebbles
are the best thing about mornings
those colorful enchanting little specks.
they make my tastebuds spring to life
without the slightest warning
in a way they never do when i eat chex.
oh kellogg’s fruity pebbles are
the breakfast i’ve been craving
i shove ’em by the fistful in my trap.
they got vitamins and nutrients
and even riboflavin
and make cocoa puffs
look like a bowl of cr-p.
yeah kellogg’s fruity pebbles
are a breakfast taste sensation
they’re tiny, tasty, munchable, and sweet.
i’d like to start a bl–dy war
and build a pebbles nation
and murder every other breakfast treat.

[chorus]
and the gallows will sway through the night
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
all, cereals bow down in fright
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
sycophants and cowards flee
from fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
captain crunch on bended knee
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
the balance of the world’s askew
but fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
promise revolutions new
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
what cereal ‘mongst other things
but fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
stays crunchy in the blood of kings?
it’s fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles…

alright still going, riding that pebble train
[verse 2]
city states and emirates
and commonwealths and counties
imagine how they will react with glee.
as the early dawn reflects upon
all nature’s greatest bounty
of soybean oil and red dye number 3.
all ministers and magistrates
can’t stop the people’s yearning
for the turning of the powers yet to be.
and presidents and potentates
can’t stop the fires burning
as we cast their ivory towers to the sea.

[chorus]
and the creatures of the forest hark
to fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
n0ble stag and yellow log
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
the innocence of childrens’ eyes
in fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
will watch that fruity flag rise
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
united we shall march along
with fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
some shall die but we’ll fight on
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
the fife shall play its soaring note
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
we’ll slit every dissenting throat
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
this vow for glory we must keep
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
though god himself may turn and weep
for fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
do not fear the cleansing flood
of fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
a breakfast table stained with blood
and fruity pebbles, fruity pebbles
aaaah-ah-aah-haa-
haaaaha-ah-aah
ha ha haaaa-aah-ah-haah-ha
haaaah-haa ah ah ha-oooo…

[outro, spoken]
scott: (laughing) i really like fruity pebbles.
woman: well thank you scott.
thank goodness for comedians, you know? it lightens our day…
scott: it- that- it wasn’t supposed to be funny.

- scott stutzman lyrics

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