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black metal queen - schäffer the darklord lyrics

children of satan, please gather round and hear my story
i intend to descend to the end, my friend, and omit all details gory
i’m sorry, but like maury the canadian said, “that’s just how it goes!”
we begin one morning after one of my red*hot sold*out hip*hop shows
our story begins at four and you wh0re and to me that’s morning
i implore you not find this too boring so i’ll just cut to the chase
it was pouring, i was sore and stumbled through the studio door and
you see, i like to record my snoring so i had to turn off the tapes
and through the stench of puke and p*ssing i still noticed something missing
i listened to reason, rеalized and gave my eyеs a rub. man…
last night i was outta site tight on the mic, all right
but i should have used foresight and drank light, cause i left my mics at the club
now “f*ck! f*ck! f*ck!” this is a problem and then i start to panic
cause when i go out and about in crowds i get mobbed by mad fanatics
and syphilis addicts, paparazzi, disco b*lls and confetti
so i watch the thursday night sitcoms and eat some f*cking spaghetti
and get dressed to k!ll, to the nines, i’m fine, breaking hearts
looking good in new school clothes my mom bought me at k*mart
lock up, pull my sock up, and walk up to catch a taxi
to the club, but thursday’s metal night, so no one will harass me
or ask me for autographs, see, cause i don’t go to these shows, gee
never ever met a metalhead that said she or he even knows me
i find it unkind that inter*scene classism leaves us blind
so i decide to find my mics and stay behind cause i got an open mind
now, it should be noted that i voted against playing metal when i was loaded
as a kid in my folks abode i know i wrote it on the wall
but in my adult age i turned a page that day as i saw this band on the stage
the drummer, man, the drummer i saw, she made my jaw fall
[chorus]
and now i’d like to thank our lord who art in hades
for bringing me the queen of all the heavy metal ladies
perfect in every way except she’s from another scene
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen

now i’d never seen anyone play like this, ever look so enraged and p*ssed
ever slay a f*cking stage like this, i’d never felt any less g*y than this
i mean it, i’d never seen it, such furious fingers and fast feet
everlasting stamina, master of the blast beat
and ok, there were two guitarists, a bassist, of course a keyboardist
but for this performance i swore it was only her in the spotlight
she was fearless, i stood the nearest, you hear this? dry*mouthed and beerless
peering at her appearance, such a wicked lovely sight
newly*dyed black hair, pale tattooed skin, yikes!
elbow*to*wrist gauntlets of black leather and spikes
and as she played, her eyes closed, her mouth open, i felt faint
as fake blood spilled out her lovely mouth and smeared her corpse paint
she’s leaving every drumhead dimpled and cracks in every cymbal
these beats are like karate on speed and she makes it seem so simple
and for the encore she roared more as i was l!cking my..
lips, she broke off one of her tips, it was sticking in my eye
i waited outside near the van in which her band rides
i’d decided inside to try and say “hi” as she left the place
she stumbled out and fumbled about with her double kick drums out
i said “good show,” she said “i know,” and spit whiskey in my face
now i’m not really used to abuse like this * my crowds, my fans, my ass, they kiss
but his insolence was just like bliss and i didn’t know what to do
so i said “my name is std, that stands for schaffer the darklord, see?”
and she didn’t care, she simply stared and only replied “who?”
i know, i know, at this point all things seem a no*go
but i didn’t even know her band’s name cause i couldn’t read the logo
and even so, i made a go even though we’re an odd mix
i said “can i get your number?” she said “666.”
[chorus]
and now i’d like to thank our lord who art in hades
for bringing me the queen of all the heavy metal ladies
perfect in every way except she’s from another scene
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen

can you even believe this? our love is sceneless, i wear adidas
and she wears leather, but we’re together, and it just gets better every day
the greatest mc in the world, the metal world’s most wicked girl
but the separate scenes seem to have their two cents to say
the hip*hop kids hate metal, the headbangers don’t like rap
but both sides hate rap metal which is a no*brainer cause it’s cr*p
so we estimate that’s why they hate we date, they speculate a fate
worse than a burnt church should we choose to collaborate
so instead we cross over without stalling in someplace dumb
i teach her some turntablism, she teaches me the drums
she hums, and she’s got blisters on her thumbs from bass*strumming
some callouses on her hands from all the drumming or something
oh man, nothing compares to the feelings that we receive when we
successfully infiltrate each other’s scenes
now i’m playing guitar solos at the clubs on thursday nights
and she’s throwing devil h*rns to all the heads at hip hop open mics
and the crowds are none the wiser, we’re both respected by the other’s friends
cause our love transcends the binds of record store bins
and in the end the rumor flies, they’re surprised they realized
that they like each other’s music seen through someone else’s eyes
so f*ck kid rock, f*ck rage and i.c.p
but god bless burzum and snoop d. o. double g
did i say god? well i meant lucifer, for sure
cause my lady worships the devil, my friend, and i worship her
[chorus]
and now i’d like to thank our lord who art in hades
for bringing me the queen of all the heavy metal ladies
perfect in every way except she’s from another scene
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen
white boy rapper, black metal queen

- schaffer the darklord lyrics

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