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welcome to hell - saturday night live lyrics

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[cecily strong]
hey there, boys. we know the last couple months have been frickin’ insane

[aidy bryant]
all these big, cool, powerful guys are turning out to be, what’s the word? habitual predators?

[kate mckinnon]
cat’s out of the bag, women get har-ssed all the time!

[aidy]
and it’s, like, dang, is this the world now?

[saoirse ronan]
but here’s a little secret that every girl knows

[cecily]
oh, this been the d-mn world!

[all]
it’s freaky, it’s narsty
it’s b-tton-under-the-desk bad
but this is our hometown, we’ll show you around
welcome to h-ll
now we’re all in here
look around, isn’t it nice?
it’s a full nightmare
ain’t it so coo-coo, playing this guess who?
yeah, it’s a lot, but it’s what we got
welcome to h-ll, hey!

[aidy]
oh, and this ain’t a girl group
we just travel in a pack for safety

[kate]
this is how i walk home at night
meow

[saoirse]
my dad gave me a pink gun, so there’s a lot there

[cecily]
my little trick is if someone’s following me i put my arm up like this and i go [-groans-]
’cause then he’ll be like, “she’s not worth the trouble”

[all (cecily)]
welcome to h-ll
now you’re in our boat
look at that guy, what is he up to in that trench coat?
it’s like a maze here, all full of b-n-rs
hey, what was that?
whew, just a cat
(wait, who owns the cat?)
could be a trap
welcome to h-ll, hey!

[kate]
i guess it begs the question
woah, why didn’t you say something, babygirl?

[saoirse]
well, dang, double daddy
we definitely did
for hundreds of years

[melissa villaseñor]
aww, man

[aidy]
but i guess no one, like, cared

[saoirse]
because it kept happening again and again

[melissa]
what?

[saoirse]
and again!

[melissa]
really?

[saoirse]
and again!

[melissa]
oh, come on!

[leslie jones]
hey, just wanted to say i think what you guys are doing is really cool, i get it. um, but you do know that it’s, like, a million times worse for women of color, right?

[all]
oh, god, yes!
thank you for saying that

[leslie]
well, let’s get back into this!

[saoirse]
now house of cards is ruined
and that really sucks
well, here’s a list of stuff that’s ruined for us

[all]
parking
and walking
and uber
and ponytails
bathrobes
and nighttime
and drinking
and hotels
and vans

[melissa]
nothing good happens in a van

[all]
welcome to h-ll
this isn’t news
our situation’s been a nuisance since we got b–bs
that’s why our mom was always so tired
grab all your friends, mace in your hands
welcome to h-ll
yeah, it ain’t fair, but pull up a chair
welcome to h-ll, hey!

- saturday night live lyrics

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