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murder show - saturday night live lyrics

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(spoken intro)
[nick]
all right, i’m gonna head out

[chloe]
have fun

[nick]
what are you gonna do?

[chloe]
just finish up work and relax

[nick]
okay, well, don’t miss me too much

[chloe]
i won’t

[nick]
all right, bye

(musical intro)
[chloe]
finally, he’s gone
[ego]
i have the whole night to unwind

[melissa]
and do a little self*care

[kate]
the only way i know how

(song)
[women]
i’m gonna watch a murder show, murder show
i’m gonna watch a murder show
netflix, showtime
hbo and daylight

murder show, murder show
i’m gonna watch a murder show
youtube, hulu
that’s my favorite thing to do

[chloe]
two sisters got k!lled on a cruise in the bahamas
i’m gonna half watch it while i fold my pajamas

[melissa]
severed limbs found on a beach in chula vista
but i just kinda stare while i eat a piece of pizza
[ego]
dig up some bodies and do an autopsy

[chloe]
boring!

[ego]
wake me up when it’s munchausen by proxy

[kate]
a bodybuilder chopped up an old lady
i watch it while i text my sister ’bout her baby

[women]
murder show, murder show
every type of murder show
late night, true crime
this is my relaxin’ time

murder show, murder show
i’m gonna watch a murder show

[chloe]
last night, i found a new one
where they found a cheerleader’s head in an old coal mine
i watch it while i pay my taxes online
[ego]
satanic k!ller on the loose in texas
and i’m on insta keepin’ tabs on my exes

[melissa]
cannibals cut off people’s flesh and they boil it
i watch it all while i’m sittin’ on the toilet

[kate]
six pretty girls got scalped at the prom
i watch it in the background while i facetime my mom

[women]
and as soon as i’m done, i listen to a podcast
about the same guy as the show i just watched
’cause now i’m fully down the rabbit hole
i hope for a body count, like six or seven
a really high body count, 10 or 11
15, 16, now it’s getting interesting
if it’s not at least 20, then girl, he ain’t worth it

(spoken interlude)
[nick]
what the h*ll? have you just been watching murder shows all night?

[chloe]
uh, yes

[nick]
you do realize that there’s a type of show that’s even better than murder shows, right?

[chloe]
wait, what?

[nick]
oh, yeah

(song)
have you heard about cult shows, cult shows?
different kinds of cult shows
brainwash, s*x, and ugly dudes
and a bit of volleyball

death cults, s*x cults
we all like s*x cults

[all]
murder shows and cult shows

[melissa]
and don’t forget baking shows

(spoken)
what? i like baking shows! whatever, screw you guys. i’m eating all of them

(outro)
[nick]
body shows

- saturday night live lyrics

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