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corporate nightmare song - saturday night live lyrics

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(spoken intro)
[ted]
hey, dylan, take the lip ring out. it’s against company policy

[nate]
this one’s goin’ out to all the corporate drones out there!

[tina]
workin’ for the man, makin’ other people rich

[casper]
slave to the almighty dollar

[dylan]
you know who you are. listen up!

(hook)
mom and dad said, “go get a job!”

[tina]
go work real hard, go punch a clock

[nate]
climb the corporate ladder straight to the top

[casper]
pay your dues; someday, you’ll be the boss

[dylan]
but white-collar life don’t work, you see

[tina]
’cause i ain’t no corporate worker bee

[nate]
everybody in the house who feel like me

[dylan, tina, nate, and casper]
get up on your feet and scream

(song)
take this job and shove it up your—
i will never be
part of this machine
corporate society
you can’t hold me back
with a paycheck
this job can kiss my a–

(spoken)
[ted]
hey, tina, great work on that compete -n-lysis

[tina]
oh, thank you

[ted]
you should think about the management training program. we could use someone like you on the 12th floor

[tina]
wow. i, i will. thank you, sir

[ted]
(great work)
(training program)

(hook)
[dylan]
boss man sit around on his -ss all day

[tina]
doin’ real good work for the companaay

[nate]
he don’t know what’s up

[tina]
but he actually does, though
so let’s not be unfair to ted, yo

[dylan]
but the hours

[tina]
are good

[nate]
and the pay

[tina]
is generous

[casper]
corporate culture is straight-up venomous

[tina]
but our benefits

(spoken)
oh, sorry, one second. i just gotta make sure i rsvp for this meeting. yep, i knew it. and—sweet. thanks, guys

(hook)
[nate]
’cause the people at this place

[tina]
are my best friends

[dylan, nate, and casper]
and when it comes to the boss

[tina]
he’s my best friend

(song)
[dylan, nate, and casper]
take this job and shove it up your—

(spoken)
[ted]
tina, nate, casper? you got a sec?

[casper]
yeah, absolutely. yeah

[nate]
sure thing, ted

(song)
[dylan]
i will never go
down the corporate road
capitalistic nightmare
blah blah blah blah blah
something blah blah blah

(spoken)
the h-ll is that all about?

[casper]
so…?

[tina]
ted asked us if we would pitch on the digital campaign

[nate]
yeah, it’s pretty cool, actually

[casper]
yeah, it’s really nice that ted is looking at ideas internally

(hook)
[dylan]
you corporate drones in your suits and ties
the boss says “jump”; you say, “how high?”

(spoken)
[tina]
ted wants you to work on it, too

(hook)
[dylan]
let’s dive right in, put our heads together

[nate]
blue sky the whole thing, make the good ideas better

[tina]
let’s order food

[casper]
stay here all night

[nate]
if we’re pitching to ted

[tina and dylan]
it’s gotta be tight

[dylan]
we do this right, who knows where we could go?

[tina]
dana is retiring

[dylan, nate, and casper]
she’ll need to be replaced, yo

[nate]
one of us could get her job, management position

[casper]
down the road, we could be runnin’ this division

[dylan]
first we crush this presentation

[nate]
no chokin’

[tina]
got our foot in the door

[dylan, tina, nate, and casper]
now let’s kick it open

(spoken outro)
[tina]
work hard, good things’ll come

[nate]
that’s just how it is, people!

[ted]
dylan, lip ring

[dylan]
ah, sorry, mr. abbott

[ted]
call me ted

- saturday night live lyrics

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