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pretend lover - sarah mary chadwick lyrics

i always need a pretend lover
a scapegoat to bask in like the sun
a distraction from the world
a nice face to meditate upon
’cause left to my own devices
hair by hair, i’ll tweeze away
every bit of happiness i see

i recreate mother and father
he’s a hero and the one i hate
i want a gold room, calm and shining
hide inside it, hide inside your grace
swift to reject advances
undeterred, i’ll squeeze my prey
it’s not a love distant to consummate

and it’s pawing at the edge
the bottom of my ?
the daily kind of dread
it’s definitely not love
just above my head
and it’s moving through my blood
you should know by now
it’s your job to turn me off
like the kettle on the stove
so i stop screaming
make my skin cold to me
turn me into stone
turn me off, cool me down
make my red cheeks white
and congeal my blood
break my heart
and leave me all alone

- sarah mary chadwick lyrics

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