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on the make - sarah mary chadwick lyrics

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i’m trying to be a different person
but i’m always the same version that i hate
and i’m on the make
how long does it take?
and i can’t stand to wait

the silver linings aren’t my thing
i know it’s frozen on the inside
i know i’ll never get back in
but that’s why i’m trying
that’s why i try
i only live behind my eyes
where it’s cool and no one hurts me
when i open them up wide
i just throw punches and the world, it flies away

said i was waiting on a season
that carried no misfortune for me
but if that season happened
i would die upon their blade
and smash the vase i made
’cause each day’s just a reason
to feel sh*t tomorrow
no matter how much joy there is
trust me, i’ll spin it into sorrow
and i want to hold it close
it crumbles up between my fingers
to a location undisclosed
my feelings freeze, it never lingers
and i accept that living hurts
but i can’t deal with the suffering
i arrived here empty*handed
and i know i’ll leave with nothing

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