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yellow pages - sammy j & randy lyrics

i used to own the hottest shop on main street
customers would rarely pass me by
but business has been slow for the best part of the decade
and i think i’ve just discovered why

for there upon my porch it lay
the most recent edition
i tore away the plastic
and confirmed my worst suspicions

i’m the last person advertising in the yellow pages
i don’t know what the deal is
i’ve been doing it for ages
but now i find i’m left behind
and every page is bare
two thousand yellow pages
and i’m the only ad that’s there
my typewriter business is demanding
it’s hard to keep abreast of latest trends
and how will people call me on my landline telephone
if they can’t underline my number with a pen?

and i stand by every comment
that i made in ’95
“the internet is just a fad
but phone books—they’ll survive!”

i’m the last person advertising in the yellow pages
i cover all their printing distribution costs and wages
my quarter*page in a*k has always seen me through
i’m a stickler for tradition
and google can get f*cked

i’m the last person advertising in the yellow pages
i bought the ads in bulk in the middle of the 80’s
my customers would complement my fine publicity
back when their fingers did the walking
but now they’ve walked right out on me

- sammy j randy lyrics

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