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transformers recap rap (movies 1-4) - ryan tellez lyrics

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what’s cracking, little b-tches? you like cars and trucks?
‘murica, robots, explosions, and b-tts?

well here’s a picture painted for you
straight from michael bay’s brush
starring shia labeouf!
and right before he went nuts

he’s a nerdy–ss teen with a sh-tty–ss ride
and little did he know that there’s a robot inside
and it’s from outer sp-ce, just like optimus prime!
and all the other ones who play up racial stereotypes

and now we got the allspark, gives the plot a jumpstart
makes sh-t more chaotic than black friday at a wal-mart
destroyed in megatron’s heart, get the h-ll out of here
dry hump on bumblebee (yeah man, that’s really weird)

whatever! i don’t care as long as stuff explodes
it’s a city planner’s nightmare (smashing roads!)
lotsa lights and loud noises! (senses overload)
transformers, mother truckers, that’s just how it goes

transformers, more than meets the eye
(but not much more than explosions and hot chicks)
transformers, robots in disguise
(in disguise meaning no discernable features)
transformers, racially diverse
(yet they keep poking fun at the hispanic guy)
transformers, tyrese at his worst!
(shockingly, yes)

everybody, shut up!

revenge of the fallen, all back ‘cept jazz
but with new racist robots! and megan fox’s -ss
that michael bay films from every possible angle
he even lets a tiny robot dry hump her ankles

shia’s parents and their dogs, everybody’s bangin, y’all
promiscuous decepticons and robots with giant b-lls
(what about the plot?)
well there’s this thing called the matrix. they gotta blow it up
(so it’s pretty much the same sh-t)

third movie, ain’t you seen it?
fox’s -ss was told to beat it
now we got a model from victoria’s secret
and shia’s gotta save the world one last time
with the same d-mn plot line, no wonder this kid lost his mind

how’s this movie end?
oh, with b-tterflies and rainbows, bunny rabbits, sunshine…
not in michael bay’s show!

huge fires, army guys, chaos and explosions!!!
michael bay f-cks you in the face with no emotion!

transformers, more than meets the eye
(unless your eyes are blinded by this lens flare)
transformers, robots in disguise
(they’re way too big to effectively hide)
transformers, funny cameos
(john turturro) i was thinking ken jeong
transformers, one more film to go!
(thank god)

h-ll yeah, let’s do it

optimus is still alive!!
save the planet one more time
marky mark (instead of shia)
new hot chick (she’s a minor…) what?

rawr! dinosaur!
slash and k!ll ’em with a sword
copy paste the plotline, yo
things explode
so you don’t get bored

(boom! bigger, faster, stronger)
every movie feels longer
(boom bang!)
even though they (b-tt!) keep on getting sponsored
(bang! boom! b00bs!)
oh, and frasier’s evil
(b00bs! bang! b-tt! s-x! dad? bang! boom! bang!)

transformers, more than meets the eye
(nope, it’s exactly what you’d expect)
transformers, movies in disguise
(just a machine that prints michael bay’s paychecks)
transformers, super worth your time
(i got lots of time ’cause i got fired) dude, sorry
transformers, go see number 5!
(already camping out, bro) you’re homeless now?

- ryan tellez lyrics

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