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trying not 2 die (guitar song) - ruby blushing lyrics

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16, it was the loudest nothing
i’ve ever felt
i can still taste the metal
hear the cl!ck track in my skull

50*50
guess i’ll cut the other arm
when i get back
yes i’ve tried thinking what it’s like
to hear a single hand clap

chris said he “grieves by dying every night”
for the last 3 years
that’s how i been living my life

all i do is wake (wake up) up feeling like i wanna die (i wanna die)
live, regret it, get real high (get real high)
and for a momеnt i’m happy to be alive
(sun comes up)
thеn i go to bed
trying not to die (trying not to die)

i need a god d*mn job
but i can’t live on
turning nickels into dimes
i’m so tired of selling lies
i go for a drive
i take a bat turn
down feral parkway
baby brains
but i’m your girl, ain’t i your girl?

did i cut my hair last night?
or was that just a dream
i’m getting impatient
adoring the distance between (us)

well i wrote you a guitar song
it’s not very good and
it’s probably too long
i’m just trying to get the crumbs out
i got too much sh*t to think about

what’s the point of your queerness if you’re just
gonna uphold the same old norms
trying to spot gender by a look

paul said “the ones who love us least
are the ones we’ll die to please”
and i wanna break that chain so badly
i could scream
all i do is wake (wake up) up feeling like i wanna die (i wanna die)
live, regret it, get real high (get real high)
and for a moment i’m happy to be alive
(sun comes up)
then i go to bed
trying not to die (trying not to die)

god didn’t turn me
into a flower
so i k!lled them
and i did it myself

sinead said “ to say how you feel
is to lay your own grave”
and i’ve got, a nice spot
on this hill to die on

every time i come
i just wanna hear a great song
a soaring melody
to break my brain completely (cause i can’t feel the days)

now i’m stoned sleepy smiling
staring at the star*spangled suckers
i get it and i don’t get it
two things can be true at once
all i do is wake (wake up) up feeling like i wanna die (i wanna die)
live, regret it, get real high (get real high)
and for a moment i’m happy to be alive
(sun comes up)
then i go to bed
trying not to die (trying not to die)

birds continue chirping
call me if you don’t need anything
show me your sh*tty moon pics
it’s okay some things are far away
you don’t have to heal in a day

you don’t have to heal in a day

- ruby blushing lyrics

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