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dad's best friend - rubberbandits lyrics

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bootcut jeans, salmon shirt
i have a skin routine and my elbows hurt
i don’t give blood… because i won’t give blood

bought a tarantula from a swedish guy
he helped me out in stockholm with a dui
and i stalk ian brown when he comes to town

i stole cocaine off my nephews friend
i did it with the fellas at the a.g.m
and eleanor from a&r refused me again
so i did that thing at the holiday inn

my wife sells cheese on the internet –
i think about her sister when we’re intimate
her family and friends, they don’t like me anymore
cause i threatened all her brothers with an antique sword

i’m your dad’s best friend, your dad’s best friend
we’re taking him to holland for the long weekend
he never had a stag, he never had a stag
we’re taking him to amsterdam and making him a man

your dad’s best friend, your dad’s best friend
we’re doing ketamine up in the netherlands
he never had a stag, he never had a stag
i’m taking him to amsterdam and buying him a bag

i watch g-y porn in my garden shed
i lie to everybody that my father’s dead
i smell like joop… my son has croup
picking up the hooker that i like the best
crying on her toilet cause my life’s a mess
i’m sleeping in the office cause my wife’s depressed
i’m heating streaky bacon in a trouser press

i am your dad’s best friend, your dad’s best friend
i’m taking him to holland for the long weekend
he never had a stag, he never had a stag
i’m taking him to amsterdam and making him a man

your dad’s best friend, your dad’s best friend
we’re doing ketamine up in the netherlands
and maybe when you’ve children of your own
you’ll be praying for a best friend just like me

- rubberbandits lyrics

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