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brown eyes - roseblud lyrics

you opened your eyes, barely five, beaten back, but alive
only black, kid arrived in a school full of white
youth taught to despise you
blocked you and denied truth
their parents demonized you
children of the time cruel
boy i’m not trying to get all of your dirt on my skin
she said
laughing and pointing at you while the others joined in
face red
you didn’t understand yet that your race was your sin
instead
you just understood pain
like when buckley threw in punches and rushеd you for speaking girl’s names
and it was wrong for brownies to еver feel love and not shame
your muddy colored eyes, dripping tears down like dirty dark rain
you got the message, how could anybody want you

2 years later and you switched schools, didn’t have n0body hit you
the pain wasn’t like a punched face, it was you alone at your lunch breaks
how their eyes always seemed to find a way, to pity you, but hurry right away
how you’d go planning your escape
into books and comics that could not relate
to your life, filled with characters a bit too light
and once again, you had made up your mind, that you’d be better without darker eyes
the life you lived wasn’t worth a try
left alone on the sidelines, no one wanted to be touched by
the ugly kid who was a bit shy
or a lot shy
you told yourself, you would not cry, locked your pain deep up inside
begging god to let you be white
and praying daily, not to waste time
but you faced time
and soon, you had grown
never really felt you had a place for your own home
14 doing anything tryna get some tings on your phone
started writing poetry, about fantasies, of you not alone
couldn’t see the necessity telling broken stories like your own
who’d want it
you were just another loser who could not undo his trauma real despondent
nothing valued from your wandering, black stroke on a blank page
erased yourself and wrote your own cage
you didn’t care who you really were, as long as you could finally be heard

19 years of age and now you finally had someone to love
looked into her eyes, and knew she saw you as more than some shrugged off, waste of sp*ce
you’d talk into sp*ce
how you’d both come from a past that damaged you and made you break
how you loved her, her trickster smile and angel face
with hazel eyes that looked more green, but changed in color constantly
and how she loved you, your silver tongue always amazed
but what she truly loved about you were the eyes you learned to hate
and so the story unfolds, she hurt you then you let go
at first, you crumbled and cried
ran from your feelings, denied
you tried to edit your life, and write what others might like
but soon you came to realize, you had no reason to hide
you were enough
look into the mirror, finally 20 given time to grow
staring for a while with my eyelids shut till i let them go
steady and unchanging my brown eyes i’m not ashamed to show
see the future for myself, covered in a loving glow
my brown eyes
constant and unwavering
earthbound and wonderful
mine

- roseblud lyrics

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