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ben shapiro vs destiny: rap battle edition! - roennreeds lyrics

[intro: ben shapiro and >ben shapiro’s mom]

>how was your debate with destiny today, sweetie?
it was great, mommy
i crushed him with facts and logic
>that’s so great, honey!
i only wish i had a chance to do it all over again
>well, maybe you will in your dreams tonight
>goodnight, my little ben shapiro
goodnight, mommy
in my dreams. ahhhhh

[intro * cont’d: ben shapiro, >destiny, >>jordan peterson]

>>and then i said, lobster?
>>i hardly know her!
*jordan and ben laugh*

>and i was like chat, i swear to god
>don’t make me bring back league streams
>oh, sh*t

h*llo, steven. are you ready for our debate round two
rap battle edition?
>you know i always stay strapped, ben
excellent. i’ll start
[verse 1: ben]
yo!
let’s say, hypothetically, purely theoretically
that we lived in a world where you could spit bars better than me
and make more cheddar than me
and f*ck wap wetter than me
oh wait, you have a girl’s name, ha! get f*cked, destiny
then maybe you would have a sliver of hope, but nope, you don’t
i predict all of your liberal tropes
your take on abortion is unfortunate
i’m tracking down your coordinates
like israel, i’ll make sure my response is proportionate

got god on my side when i’m sitting in synagogue
goggins, david ain’t got sh*t on me, i’m a demigod
insane rhymes, precision like a verbal surgeon
true to my religion, ’til i was married, i was a virgin
to be expected the art of debate i have perfected
your logic is sus, sorry steven, you’ve been ejected
infringe the second amendment?
veto, i redirect it
may be the nerd of the right but b*tch, you will respect it

[verse 1 cont’d * ad read: ben shapiro and >steven]

and now, a word from our sponsor:
expressvpn guarentees your privacy with*
*smack*
ow!
>holy sh*t, you’re insufferable
*scoff* how did you interrupt my ad read in my dream?
>i don’t know ben, i guess you just f*cking suck
let me show you how a real mc spits
[verse 2: destiny]
here comes
little ben shapiro, the conservative fool
compensating for all the years that he was bullied in school
always dunking on college students, picking low hanging fruit
while i crush real leftists and do your own job better than you?
your epistemic and meta*ethical framework is sh*t
“it’s called presuppositionalism!”
go f*ck yourself b*tch
you’re all “mr. facts and logic” while your whole worldview
is based on fairy tale bullsh*t that you can’t even prove?

every conservative i debate leaves the venue in tears
i’ve been wrecking people with double your coherence for years
ask alex jones, when i spanked him, made his ego deflate
i’m beginning to feel like i’m the f*cking god of debate!
destroy my foes with deadly precision, no pivoting necessary
i left the debate stage, taking this to a cemetery
verdict’s the death penalty
i’m the judiciary
f*ck a manifesto, i just wrote your obituary

[verse 2 cont’d: ben shapiro, >steven, >>jordan peterson]

not bad, steven
i didn’t want to have to do this, but you’ve left me no choice
it’s time for me to channel ancient hebrew, straight from the kabala
>but ben, you could literally die!
it’s worth it, if it means defeating the likes of you
this is the end for you, steven
>>f*ck him up, bucko!
[verse 3: ben shapiro and >jordan peterson]

tiny jewish hat
foreskin missing
my name is ben shapiro and wrecking leftists is what i do for a living
think you can verbally decimate me, your imagination must be wild
cross me and i’ll leave you in rubble, like a palestinian child (>d*mn!)
my media career’s prolific (>skrrrt!)
conservative stereotypic (>ohh!)
don’t want a welfare state or support government programs that are parasitic (>nope!)
my logic is so *n*lytic (>facts!)
my ph is highly hasidic (>hah!)
criticize israel, i’ll get your ass cancelled for being antisemitic (>b*tch!)

this train i am on is now leaving the station
carrying the torch of tradition another generation
saving all of the children’s s*xual orientations
and feeling elation when lower taxation brings down inflation
*breath*
you wanna decimate the texts of judeo*christian values that all
underlie the west
but my flow is ineffable and impeccably blessed
now do you really wanna know whats next? (>lets go!)

call me gordon ramsay cuz i’m dicing with a steak knife
your nihilism and denial of the next life
be a death blow when you see on the fisheye
me and sneako running trains on your ex*wife
i’m just kidding, only said it for the bit
as a jew, adultery is not a thing i would commit
being rap god is fun, but my time is on loan
there is only one god
and now i give him back the throne
i’m done

[verse 3 cont’d: ben shapiro and >destiny]

>not bad ben. but you’re forgetting one thing
whats that?
>my adderal just kicked in!
*gulp*

[verse 4: steven and >vaush]
ripperino cappuccino papaccino
hopaccino mapaccino dabbaccino cappucino (>alpaccino!)
filipino maraschino jalapeno all up in yo
i need beano, ripping through me like el niño
very sh*tty feeling creeping through me
i feel like i wanna k!ll myself and light myself on fire
wait a sec i didn’t eat today
that’s not food poisoning
i just got done watching the daily wire (>d*mn!)

every time i gotta prep for a debate
i reference wikipedia and load it in my brain (>ooooooo)
and lock it in and then i show up at the weigh*in
make em wish they’d stay in
then they all start praying
i ain’t playin (>d*mn)
i’m too busy goin super saiyan!

moral anti*realist so i dont believe in moral facts
economic leftist so i do belive in higher tax*
ation on the rich proportional to their ability
to maximize efficiency and marginal utility

i don’t believe that circumstantial economic factors
should determine a child’s future
and how high they can climb the ladder
just because they’re born to parents who
cannot afford to send their kids to harvard
we can’t all be born to hollywood executives

your market fundamentalism is a natural extension
of your bad knack to lack wisdom
but it tracks for a right wing hack
whose rhymes are whack, thats facts
so snap back, attack, get em!

while were at it didn’t you oppose the civil rights act
cuz it violated private buisness freedoms?
but you back desantis, who sued disney for their free speech
but hey, princ*p*ls
who needs em?

started from the bottom now i’m dumb rich
sub 80 iq you a dumb b*tch
this is it ben, hear the tolling of the bells
final words ringing in your ears

gotcha, anything else?

- roennreeds lyrics

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