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looking back at thirty - rod mckuen lyrics

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i lie in someone’s shadow
and gobble up the night
i hide behind the darkness
and hold the moment tight
and just as i’m a man tomorrow
i’m a man tonight

but looking back at thirty
one thing time has shown
that’s little consolation
when you spend the day alone

but every day’s another chance
you’ve got to dance it
like it was the final dance
and yet a dance is just a dance
and nothing more
you can’t expect to turn each turn
and find the secret door

i run down by the river
and watch the waters roll
i’ve let it take my body
and even take my soul
for my heart is like the river water
muddy, dark and cold

but looking back at thirty
it’s later than i thought
it’s bad to brood the years away
for what i haven’t got

for all you touch you cannot keep
and what is love but just another kind of sleep
and yet to sleep again
would be worth all the troubles that i’ve known
sometimes i think i’m never ever going home

if i thought that time meant nothing
i’d use the days like sweets
and p-ss ‘em out like candy
all along the streets
exchanging them for favors
from people that one meets

but looking back at thirty
older by a mile
there’ve been too many strangers
that knew my crooked smile

oh, the crowds can be so wild
they push and trample you
like some forgotten child
and yet…
i guess i’ve never been a child at all
except sometimes…
in terms of feeling small

sometimes in someone’s shadow
i think i’ve found a way
to keep the darkness for myself
at night as well as day
but always with the sunlight
the shadow goes away

and looking back at thirty
holding back the tears
i might as well be
one, two, three times thirty years

but every day’s another dance
you’ve got to dance it
like it was the final dance
and if a dance is just a dance
and nothing more
you got to keep on trying hard
to find that secret door

looking back at thirty
that’s what living’s for

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