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control - rivilin lyrics

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[chorus: rivilin]
it’s the sedatives, just an alternative
just a market price inside my soul, when did it become so competitive?
now i’m hesitant
to let the ones i know i should love in, but being backstabbed is so repetitive

[verse 1]
know i’ve been here all before, drugged up passed out on the floor
i’ve seen those messages from him taunting you that you should leave
you know you should, cuz i’m no good, i’m no good
i understand that i’m f*cked up

dealing with questions from a psychiatrist doesn’t understand what i’ve been through
dealing with questions from my own family, build me up like a statue
it’s so hard to look at your eyes, filled with judgment
the pills just got too much for me i couldn’t cope

sinking down into the abyss where i never rose again
see my bones splattered on the walls deep down in my own h*ll
like a bliss*filled with alcohol and suicide
f*cked in my own way, f*cked together, f*cked apart

[pre*chorus]
still, don’t remember how it got that bad back then thought i was better by myself
got the $lothboi guarding my back climbing up and reaching the end
my mother just wants to see me smile
i’ll stare back with a blank face cuz

[chorus]
it’s the sedatives, just an alternative
just a market price inside my soul, when did it become so competitive?
now i’m hesitant
to let the ones i know i should love in but being backstabbed is so repetitive

holding no sentiment
i see you crying on the ground, yeah mind is filling up with adrenaline
you’re argumentative
blaming me because you stuck down in a hole and you can’t dig your way out

[verse 2: $lothboi]
repetitive
these thoughts in my head, they’ve been shaking me
till the end ive been thinking of the negative
the thoughts in my head, yeah, yeah

adrenaline
the panic from the thoughts and the memories
they’ve been overwhelming me and all my better days
i’m hesitant to question my own f*cking happiness

the memories be trapping me
i’m stuck and it’s
repetitive
i need medicine
im an alcoholic piece of sh*t, a negative

i got some problems with
my f*cking memories
the trauma from my f*cking past can get the best of me
i’m staggering

[pre*chorus]
now rivilin
let’s climb up on their corpses
let’s get rid of them
i be tired of the liars i been sitting with
sh*t i’m f*cking sick of it
i’m a piece of sh*t but i bet i’m still the better man
they faking it

[chorus: rivilin]
the sedatives, just an alternative
just a market price inside my soul, when did it become so competitive?
now i’m hesitant
to let the ones i know i should love in, but being backstabbed is so repetitive

holding no sentiment
i see you crying on the ground, yeah mind is filling up with adrenaline
you’re argumentative
blaming me because you stuck down in a hole and you can’t dig your way out

- rivilin lyrics

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