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burn notice - rivilin lyrics

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i see you crawling up to me on your knees
i see the rage building up in your eyes as i leave
it’s like when i open my mouth reality stops and i can’t control what i see
my body isn’t mine now another person takes control when my mind breaks down

bursts of anger seem to cloud up my vision then my mind snaps back, hands covered in blisters
now every day repeats in the same cycle, just stuck in a fog and i can let go of
who i was who i am who i could been, i can’t live with the way that you just look at me
self*disgust builds a tiny little home right next to the place that i used to call my soul

what was i meant to say, how was i meant to react that way
a best friend confined, i wished he was dead i wish he never survived
the night i broke his face all the anger consumed and replaced
i never came back alive the person i was, was the one who lost sight

yeah, emotions are boiling under my flesh
feel the stress rising up through my gut until nothing’s left
cus it’s eating out the best of me, i tried to make you never see what’s wrong with me
and even when i needed you, yeah you said that you gotta leave

yeah so isn’t that perfect i get it now
i search for something in places that won’t be found
and then you find someone who builds a little cage inside your chest
where they change you and tear you down, find you gasping for your breath

and it doesn’t help that best friends wanna, f*ck with you
thought they had my f*cking back guess im just easily used
i wanna f*ck em with the gat blood splatters soak into shoes
d*mn i guess it’s what i lack, the courage to speak my truth
so i say it in these songs, yeah i f*cking hate you
if i saw you in public i think id have to break a tooth or two
but self disgusts builds a tiny little home
where i find myself embracing the guilt all alone

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