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understand me - ripjacub (j 2.0) lyrics

[verse 1] just let me be…
i been trying to sleep
got my mind on some things, that my heart doesn’t wanna release
i’m just tryna find my peace…
hoping that my demons leave
everybody thinks that i’m easy to believe in, when it’s hard to make a change and i can’t erase the feeling that i’m seeming so fake, i keep making mistakes, hide behind the pain, put on my mask, pretend that it’s okay, bottle everything up save it for another day
n0body knows what goes on in the inside, smiles on my face, they don’t know that i been dyin, tryna better me, but it leads to me hating life, people say i’m positive cause you know i stay trying, d-mn

[chorus] why can’t you just understand me?
i’m trying my best for my family
why can’t you just understand me?
why can’t you just understand me?

sick of the pain, i’m sick of the doubts, i’m sick of talking about, what goes on in my life, but they can’t figure it out, that i’m always overthinking, i can’t take it, i’m a coward
my emotions are controlling me, they holding me, back.. will i be this when i’m older? nf got me thinking that, this is gonna be a longer journey, than i thought it was suppose to be, i’m 20, i was 17 whenever i wrote up this dream
now i wanna rip it up because n0body notices, i shouldn’t care, but i do, and i just can’t control the sh-t
i’m walking round like it don’t matter but inside i’m motionless, i’m dead inside, you might as well come send your condolences like sh-t

like god please send me a clue.. i seem like i know but really i don’t know what to do..
i been wondering if the path i’m taking is true
or am i just a fool that wondered off, got lost and then grew

just to find out he mistaken what his destiny, was when he’s 30, learning maybe this ain’t meant to be, all alone cause he couldn’t give a girl a wedding ring, cause he was busy messing round and dealing with the music thing
yeah that’s my fear though, yeah the thought is scary, i just need a f-ckin sign, god yeah can you hear me? i don’t wanna show emotions, otherwise you’d hear me screaming
i just wanna punch these walls, just to try and hide the feeling, that maybe things won’t be alright i just say it just to say it, i put the vibe out that when i say some sh-t, ah yeah they think im just i’m playing

i just want someone to see me constantly put a fight but i know that ain’t finna help no one, always talkin positive, even though i know none.. imma keep it real till the day that i go in, my grave

why can’t you just understand me?
i’m trying my best for my family
why can’t you just understand me?
why can’t you just understand me?

i’m tired and tired of lying to myself yea
i’m tired and tired of lying to myself yea
i’m tired and tired of wishing of wishing that things will be alright when it ain’t
i’m tired of keeping a smile on my face, lord help me
tired of being myself, of needing the fame, lord help me
tired of it, i’m tired of it, sometimes i wanna slice up my wrist, i know that you wouldn’t like it, but maybe i’ll try it

i just wanna be me right now
but i don’t know what is me right now
i just hope that maybe you’d forgive me

i hope that you can forgive me

i’m tired i’m tired of lying to myself now
i’m tired i’m tired of not asking for help now
i’m tired i’m tired of feeling so alone
so alone..

- ripjacub j 2 0 lyrics

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