the ballad of d. claude - ridiculon lyrics
i’m a cast*out cat out on the prowl
since the day they put me out
i got whiskers’ like spaghetti, fur just like a yeti
t**th like tile grout
but i ain’t bitter bout the crumbs of litter hangin down from my belly
keepin me nice and smelly
like day old tuna by the light of la luna that you shoulda eaten sooner but i got here first
‘cause i’m cool as p*ss in a pool of bliss
all the cats on the street are aware of this
because i live on my own
the dogs leave me alone
and the streets are my home
where i’m so well known
my face ain’t pretty, it’s kinda loafy
and my b*tt ain’t gonna win a cat ass trophy
got a tail like k*mquat, a nose to match
but i always seem to find myself a post to scratch
see this mean ol’ city ain’t no place for a kitty
that needs mommy to bring ’em their milk
said, hey diddle diddle, you’ll be strings on a fiddle
if you ain’t of the proper ilk
see now i’m cool as pee in a puddle of glee
and it all came to me so naturally
from living on my own
the dogs leave me alone
the streets are my home
where i’m so well known
all you cats in that lab are schizophrenics
don’t get me mixed up in your mew*genics!
you don’t need to be the fonz to know that ain’t cool
yeah you are freakin’ me*owt
you come runnin’ round here like some p*ss ‘n boots
you don’t know pain til you’ve been d. claude!
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