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someone's got to do it - riders in the sky lyrics

[spoken intro]
slocum: hahahahaha!
charlie: hey slocum, tell me again what are we doing here, anyway?
slocum: well charlie, every great story got to have a great bad guy, right?
charlie: yeah…?
slocum: well think of all the great bad guys: the joker, snidely whiplash, the cavendish gang, even the beagle boys. hahaha…
charlie: yeah i see your point, but all this bad guy stuff is kinda hard work. whadda say we get a real job*
slocum: eh?!
charlie: go straight* earn an honest living?
slocum: charlie, snap out of it!
charlie: ow!
slocum: snap out of it!
charlie: sorry boss, musta been something i ate
slocum: i don’t know about you charlie but* i was born to be bad

[verse 1: slocum]
i’ve got a pencil*thin mustache and a reptilian dеmeanor
if i could squeeze a nickle*profit, i’d takе your grandma to the cleaners
i love forgery, extortion, and changing cattle brands
but mostly i’m in love with very big and evil plans

[verse 2: slocum]
i want your coal and cattle, gold and timber and railroad right away
i want your water rights, mineral rights, and air rights, by the way
i love confiscation, intimidation, and owning all the land
’cause lately i’ve been getting into big and evil plans
[chorus]
slocum & charlie: because the plot demands an evil man
slocum: yeah! to prove the good are good, someone’s got to put ’em through it
slocum & charlie: even shakespeare in his glory put good villains in his story
slocum: it’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it

[spoken]
charlie: yeah…
slocum: what’s your excuse, charlie?
charlie: well, i’ll tell ya…

[verse 3: charlie]
a brain like you needs muscle, to make the action richer
a brawny goon, a dark saloon is why i’m in the picture
breakin’ arms and burnin’ barns and springing you from the can
is why you need a guy like me for big and evil plans

[chorus]
slocum & charlie: because the plot demands an evil man
slocum: yeah! to prove the good are good, someone’s got to put ’em through it
slocum & charlie: even shakespeare in his glory put good villains in his story
slocum: it’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it

[spoken outro]
charlie: i guess that “someone” is us. heh heh…
slocum: it’s a filthy job, ain’t it, charlie?
charlie: heh heh…
slocum: how long have we been working together, charlie? how many years has it been?
charlie: uh* three… four? what comes after four, boss?
slocum: ah shut up, charlie. oh! gotta run! gotta foreclose on the orphanage. hahahaha!
charlie: heh heh heh, let’s get started…
slocum: yeah, maybe we can slash some tires in the parking lot on the way out. it’s a dirty job, but i like it…

- riders in the sky lyrics

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