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the bard's tale - richie branson lyrics

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[chorus]
i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i just blew my whole check on a deck (on a deck)
i got 20 sided dice in my vest (in my vest)
i got maxed out stats, b-tch i’m blessed (b-tch i’m blessed)

look, i’m on a quest

hold up, i just rolled for initiative (we rollin’)
so you know i don’t give a sh-t
undefeated ’cause my flow is so ridiculous
like a ranger with a bow i don’t ever miss

used to run dungeons from the a.m. to the p.m. (p.m.)
now i’m lucky if i get a session on the weekend (weekend)
ladies made fun of me back when i was a dm (master)
now they see me rapping they stay jumping in my dms

aw sh-t, aw sh-t, i think i’m getting old
started off with tabletops now i’m on mmos
bought a brand new set of dice that i don’t get to roll
i’m just trying to find the time to level up my rogue

they try to get me into everquest
but i didn’t want to play without my spell deck (nope)
i don’t want to try new things, i think that’s evident
i’m guessing old school is what i represent

[chorus]
look, i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i just blew my whole check on a deck (on a deck)
i got 20 sided dice in my vest (in my vest)
i got maxed out stats, b-tch i’m blessed (b-tch i’m blessed)

[chorus]
look, i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i just blew my whole check on a deck (on a deck)
i got 20 sided dice in my vest (in my vest)
i got maxed out stats, b-tch i’m blessed (b-tch i’m blessed)

never had the time to pay attention to my haters (haters)
i was busy spending paper on that pen and paper (paper)
if she’s not a roleplayer i could never date her (date her)
i don’t think this song could ever make it into fader (fader)

i remember getting wood for no reason (no)
used to go to school in hand-me-downs and old sneakers (nike)
but when i hit the dungeon, got a lot of gold pieces
i was chasing after platinum like [?] and no features (none)

i was making money mowing all my neighbor’s yards (yards)
hit the store and spent it all on all the latest cards (cards)
always had my party smoking victory cigars [coughs]
never went to cl-ss unless we talkin’ ’bout my bard (op)

that’s why i’m not tryin’ to pay off my tuition (no)
never needed education, i just needed vision (never)
playing table top, i’m dedicated like religion (god)
plus i’m slightly over-powered in the 5th edition

[chorus]
listen, i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i just blew my whole check on a deck (on a deck)
i got 20 sided dice in my vest (in my vest)
i got maxed out stats, b-tch i’m blessed (b-tch i’m blessed)

[chorus]
look, i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i’m on a quest (i’m on a quest)
i just blew my whole check on a deck (on a deck)
i got 20 sided dice in my vest (in my vest)
i got maxed out stats, b-tch i’m blessed (b-tch i’m blessed)

- richie branson lyrics

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