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color a mythical beast (live) - rhett and link lyrics

(non*music lyrics in **bold**)
[verse 1: rhett and *link*]
on the first day of 1st grade
we were both held in from recess
’cause we were both writing profanity on our desks
**i wrote h*ll!**
***i wrote d*mn!***
***but i spelled it d*a*m, so it technically wasn’t a curse word…***
*but i think mrs. locklear knew my intentions…***
our punishment was coloring unicorns
and that’s when we became best friends
but equally as important
we never defaced public property again!
[chorus]
so if you’ve got a kid who’s
writing obscene graffiti
give him a picture of a mythical beast
and he will cease
to write profanity
don’t write profanity
[verse 2: rhett and *link*]
**now, this might seem like something cute we just wrote in a song**
**but it’s actually true**
**it has been scientifically proven that you cannot formulate curse words while coloring pictures of mythical beasts.**
***allow me to demonstrate***
***ass*itote***
***shi*ver me timbers***
***fu*nnel cakes***
***mo*ther fu*nnel cakes!***
**you see, it’s mother fu*nnel cake*ing impossible**
[outro]
so if you’ve got a kid
who’s writing obscene graffiti
give him a picture of a mythical beast
and he will cease
to write profanity
don’t write profanity
just color a mythical beast!

- rhett and link lyrics

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